This is the second part of my previous post There’s A Sucker Born Every Minute. I left off with telling the guy I was not sending him money ever but if he wanted to be friends he could message me. I seriously did not think I would hear from him again but I was wrong. He behaved for a little while until he decided to say his “kids” birthday was yesterday. He asked me what I was going to do for him and I said, “Wish him happy birthday like I did my girls. I didn’t get them anything.” He then repeated so what are you going to do for him? I ignored this and actually watched Dr. Phil yesterday which just happened to be a girl who thought she was talking to some actor and ended up not only sending 8000 in iTunes gift cards while talking to him on google hangouts but gave this guy access to her bank account and he was funneling money through it so now she is under investigation. It is so sad how lonely people get taken advantage of. See this scammer never had a chance with me falling for this shit. I have a husband who adores me, friends who make me laugh, and kids that keep me on my toes. So I sent him the following message, made sure he saw it and then blocked him on Fitbit and Google Hangouts.
Dear Nigerian Scammer, I’m going to give you some advice. If you are going to troll for people to scam on Fitbit you might want to get a device. The first clue you are fakes no steps ever.
If you really worked for the United Nations you would make a fuck of a lot more money than I do.
No real man asks a woman for money. Especially iTunes gift cards on Google Hangouts.
It also explains why you never know what time it is here. If you were really in Afghanistan you’d know I as eight hours behind you. DUH.
I advise you not to contract me further as it is a waste of your time. I will NEVER give you a dime and I do not wish to converse with a scammer/liar/thief.
The only reason I continued for so long with this is because I am a little bored on my summer sabbatical but it was time to cut him loose before he screwed with my accounts or did something crazy. One day I am going to learn my lesson about trusting people but until then I will have plenty of blogs to write.
Mole Moral ~ Don’t ever attempt to mess with someones money who has kept track of every dime they have spent over the past twenty-nine years!
I decided to look the origin of this saying up when I decided on the title. It was quite the interesting story. The expression has been associated with PT Barnum but he is not the one who actually said it. It really was about one of the most famous hoaxes in American History. Briefly a man named Hull hired someone to create a 10 foot petrified man that he then pretended to dig up and discover. He then charged twenty-five cents to view it. He eventually sold it to a museum and the museum refused to sell it to PT Barnum so Barnum hired someone to create a replica and then called the one in the museum a fake. The lawsuit was dismissed because you can’t call a fake statue when the original was fake. The story is very entertaining and the statue is ridiculous looking and worth googling.
About six weeks ago some guy started messaging me on Fitbit. He had some nice little quotes and nice words so I started chatting with him. He asked for me to send a picture of myself to which I responded I have two rules that I have drilled into my children head, one don’t put anything on the Internet or Facebook that you don’t want the entire world to see and two don’t send pictures of yourself to people you haven’t met in real life. I had just recently broken rule one and no way I was breaking rule two. I didn’t hear from him for a couple days but then he started back up messaging me. Keep in mind as you are reading this that my husband is convinced he wants nude photos. Here is the background he told me. Originally from Spain (I knew English was not his primary language) and dual citizen. Works for UN in NY but currently in Afghanistan on a peace keeping mission with the UN. He is divorced and has a 12 year old son who is in boarding school in NY that he hasn’t seen in a while.
Yesterday I am running up my hill, trying not to die when I get a message asking for me to send him an iTunes gift card so he can talk to his son. I had just finished watching part one of Dr. Phil show not three hours ago. This eighty year old man’s wife had passed away and he started internet dating. He met this girl that was supposedly stuck in Germany and he had sent her one hundred and fifty-thousand dollars over the past six months. He had never met her in person or spoken to her on the phone. So I let this guy have it. I told him I would never send him money. I have watched the show Catfish one too many times and I told him about the Dr. Phil show. He apologized and said to forget he ever asked but I have a feeling I will never hear from him again.
When I came in from running and told Brian he looked at me and said, just send him nudes. I said look dude I don’t send nudes to you and I know you in person, no way am I sending them to a stranger that is a freaking scammer. It would be nice if people could just be real and who they are. Don’t spend six weeks being nice to me and checking in on me because you think I am going to fall for your stupid money scam. Be assured I looked at his Fitbit stats and he doesn’t even own one. He has never had any steps listed or any badges or trophies. I discovered this two weeks ago. I am so much smarter than I look and I have excellent assessment skills. I had a feeling this was where this was going so I just played along.
Mole Moral ~ One day I will actually listen to Meg Barry!
In the Mole family, if we like you, you usually end up with some sort of nickname. I am not sure when this started but it certainly is a tradition. Today one of Emily’s friend (Heather) posted about cloth diapers. Now the Trollinator has two children well under the age of two so I commented and tagged Emily in my comment. This caused a text to me asking me to explain the purpose of cloth diapers to her boyfriend Micheal.
So I explained how they worked and how it helped the environment. He was throwing a fit and grossing out just like her father did when she was born. Brian got on board with the diapers. Then I remembered I used a diaper service for the first six months. I told Emily about it and how you didn’t even have to rinse the dirty ones. Now we did because a weeks worth of poopie diapers in a diaper pail is just gross. Micheal continued to gross out and I said please tell him to calm down you aren’t even married yet much less expecting.
And so I then remembered the nickname of our diaper guy. We called him Dan, Dan the diaper man. I cannot remember for sure if his name was even Dan but he came every week and picked up the used and gave us new. He was a super nice guy.
Mole Moral ~ Nicknames are a lot of fun in my house! Please call me Big Red from Bring it on and not Married with Children. HaHaHa