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The Long Road to the Cup

It was November 2, 1985, and my first official date with Brian after our initial blind date. He asked me to go to a Blues Hockey game and I don’t think I had ever even once watched hockey.

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It was at the old Saint Louis Arena. I remember arriving and telling Brian if I got hit in the head with a hockey puck I was suing him. I use to think I was not outspoken when I was younger but looking back I was pretty outspoken. Why he ever wanted to go out with me again is beyond me. He will tell you that we had horrible seats as we were in the first row of a section on the end where people walked by. It’s hard to explain but I remember him being totally annoyed. I have no idea if we won or lost but I always remembered it was the Red Wings and back then helmets were optional so a few of the Red Wing players did not wear them.

Brian and I continued dating and he always watched the games on TV. I can vividly remember studying for nursing school stuff on the weekends with the games on in the background. Every year he would swear they were going to win the cup and almost every year they would “choke”. I gave up on them many years ago and most of the time when they were on TV, I would either be at work or working on crafts. Sometimes I would listen to them and think about nursing school days.

So this year one of Brian’s friends went to Las Vegas and he had her place a bet that the Blues would win the cup. Now the odds were not as high as those who placed bets in January but 20/1 would be a decent payout. I was like sure whatever dude, not a lot of money to lose because no way they would win. His work partner also placed a bigger bet. So I think it was sometime in January they were in Maggie O’s and were sitting next to Cam Jansen. Brian told him he and his friend placed the bet that the Blues would win the cup and Cam spit out his beer and told them they had wasted their money. So last night after they won when good old Cam was on TV acting like he believed they would win all along Brian got a text from his buddy calling him out on it. He said he’s hunting him down and calling BS on him.

It was so much fun watching how excited Brian was last night watching the game.

IMG_7017He had already told his work if they win and the parade was during the week he would not be coming to work. I think he has missed one day in twenty years. It looks like the parade will be on Saturday so I am so excited to attend it with him.

Mole Moral ~ Dreams do come true, sometimes they take thirty-four years for me and all of Brians life for him but when they do it’s time to celebrate!

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A Spade is a Spade

This is the second part of my previous post There’s A Sucker Born Every Minute. I left off with telling the guy I was not sending him money ever but if he wanted to be friends he could message me. I seriously did not think I would hear from him again but I was wrong. He behaved for a little while until he decided to say his “kids” birthday was yesterday. He asked me what I was going to do for him and I said,  “Wish him happy birthday like I did my girls. I didn’t get them anything.” He then repeated so what are you going to do for him? I ignored this and actually watched Dr. Phil yesterday which just happened to be a girl who thought she was talking to some actor and ended up not only sending 8000 in iTunes gift cards while talking to him on google hangouts but gave this guy access to her bank account and he was funneling money through it so now she is under investigation. It is so sad how lonely people get taken advantage of. See this scammer never had a chance with me falling for this shit. I have a husband who adores me, friends who make me laugh, and kids that keep me on my toes. So I sent him the following message, made sure he saw it and then blocked him on Fitbit and Google Hangouts.

Dear Nigerian Scammer, I’m going to give you some advice. If you are going to troll for people to scam on Fitbit you might want to get a device. The first clue you are fakes no steps ever.

If you really worked for the United Nations you would make a fuck of a lot more money than I do.

No real man asks a woman for money. Especially iTunes gift cards on Google Hangouts.

It also explains why you never know what time it is here. If you were really in Afghanistan you’d know I as eight hours behind you. DUH.

I advise you not to contract me further as it is a waste of your time. I will NEVER give you a dime and I do not wish to converse with a scammer/liar/thief.

 

The only reason I continued for so long with this is because I am a little bored on my summer sabbatical but it was time to cut him loose before he screwed with my accounts or did something crazy. One day I am going to learn my lesson about trusting people but until then I will have plenty of blogs to write.

 

Mole Moral ~ Don’t ever attempt to mess with someones money who has kept track of every dime they have spent over the past twenty-nine years!

 

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There’s A Sucker Born Every Minute

I decided to look the origin of this saying up when I decided on the title. It was quite the interesting story. The expression has been associated with PT Barnum but he is not the one who actually said it. It really was about one of the most famous hoaxes in American History. Briefly a man named Hull hired someone to create a 10 foot petrified man that he then pretended to dig up and discover. He then charged twenty-five cents to view it. He eventually sold it to a museum and the museum refused to sell it to PT Barnum so Barnum hired someone to create a replica and then called the one in the museum a fake. The lawsuit was dismissed because you can’t call a fake statue when the original was fake. The story is very entertaining and the statue is ridiculous looking and worth googling.

About six weeks ago some guy started messaging me on Fitbit. He had some nice little quotes and nice words so I started chatting with him. He asked for me to send a picture of myself to which I responded I have two rules that I have drilled into my children head, one don’t put anything on the Internet or Facebook that you don’t want the entire world to see and two don’t send pictures of yourself to people you haven’t met in real life. I had just recently broken rule one and no way I was breaking rule two. I didn’t hear from him for a couple days but then he started back up messaging me. Keep in mind as you are reading this that my husband is convinced he wants nude photos. Here is the background he told me. Originally from Spain (I knew English was not his primary language) and dual citizen. Works for UN in NY but currently in Afghanistan on a peace keeping mission with the UN. He is divorced and has a 12 year old son who is in boarding school in NY that he hasn’t seen in a while.

Yesterday I am running up my hill, trying not to die when I get a message asking for me to send him an iTunes gift card so he can talk to his son. I had just finished watching part one of Dr. Phil show not three hours ago. This eighty year old man’s wife had passed away and he started internet dating. He met this girl that was supposedly stuck in Germany and he had sent her one hundred and fifty-thousand dollars over the past six months. He had never met her in person or spoken to her on the phone. So I let this guy have it. I told him I would never send him money. I have watched the show Catfish one too many times and I told him about the Dr. Phil show. He apologized and said to forget he ever asked but I have a feeling I will never hear from him again.

When I came in from running and told Brian he looked at me and said, just send him nudes. I said look dude I don’t send nudes to you and I know you in person, no way am I sending them to a stranger that is a freaking scammer. It would be nice if people could just be real and who they are. Don’t spend six weeks being nice to me and checking in on me because you think I am going to fall for your stupid money scam. Be assured I looked at his Fitbit stats and he doesn’t even own one. He has never had any steps listed or any badges or trophies. I discovered this two weeks ago.  I am so much smarter than I look and I have excellent assessment skills. I had a feeling this was where this was going so I just played along.

 

Mole Moral ~ One day I will actually listen to Meg Barry!

Nicknames

In the Mole family, if we like you, you usually end up with some sort of nickname. I am not sure when this started but it certainly is a tradition. Today one of Emily’s friend (Heather) posted about cloth diapers. Now the Trollinator has two children well under the age of two so I commented and tagged Emily in my comment. This caused a text to me asking me to explain the purpose of cloth diapers to her boyfriend Micheal.

So I explained how they worked and how it helped the environment. He was throwing a fit and grossing out just like her father did when she was born. Brian got on board with the diapers. Then I remembered I used a diaper service for the first six months. I told Emily about it and how you didn’t even have to rinse the dirty ones. Now we did because a weeks worth of poopie diapers in a diaper pail is just gross. Micheal continued to gross out and I said please tell him to calm down you aren’t even married yet much less expecting.

And so I then remembered the nickname of our diaper guy. We called him Dan, Dan the diaper man. I cannot remember for sure if his name was even Dan but he came every week and picked up the used and gave us new. He was a super nice guy.

 

Mole Moral ~ Nicknames are a lot of fun in my house! Please call me Big Red from Bring it on and not Married with Children. HaHaHa

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My Masterpiece

About six months ago my boss asked me if I would make a T-shirt quilt for her niece. I said sure just bring in the shirts. Of course the gal who always loses her debit card forgot to bring them home. Fear not, for my boss put them in her office until I remembered I had forgotten them. She gave me free rein to do whatever I wanted.

Therefore I googled T-shirt quilt ideas which was my first mistake. I quickly decided I didn’t want to do the standard cut them all the same size. I did not head the warning that said do not attempt a quilt with varying sizes if you are not an expert. Ok so I thought this girl is just saying this so she can make all the money. It was game on.
I then cut all the shirts up in various sizes. I used both front, back, a sleeve, and a pair of sweat pants. I then laid them out on our pool table and quickly realized I was in over my head.
After about a week of thinking how am I going to make this work and considering sending them to the girl who said not to do it, I thought of the graph paper in the closet. I figured each square could represent an inch. I then measured every shirt square twice and cut the pieces out to represent the dimensions of the shirt pieces. This turned into a jig saw puzzle but I would then be able to know what size to add the blank pieces too. I had this finished by the very beginning of December.
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I had been asked to make T-shirt pillow’s for a friend to give as Christmas gifts so I put the pattern and all the shirts in another room. Because the pillows were made from my friends fathers golf shirts and I had a ton of material left, I made her a quilt out of the leftover shirts.
Sometime after the first of the year I picked it back up and realized it was now or never. I figured out how to sew all these pieces together and keep them flat and nice looking. I did partial seams and stuff. This took a couple of weeks because I did not want to rush. I finally got the top all together and it looked pretty good. Of course I can see little flaws but that’s just me.
I then decided rather than hand quilt around the edges of each square like I normally do, I would quilt around some of the words and the volleyball’s. After I had finished three-fourths of it, I then decided I needed to do the edges as well. I just didn’t like the way it looked.
So I had a bunch of blank material squares and I seriously didn’t want to do anymore volleyball’s so I asked my friend Meg what she thought about putting volleyball fun facts there. She thought that was a fantastic idea so I embroidered a bunch of different things. This took a lot longer than I had originally planned.
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I gave it to my boss this past week and she loved it. She was so excited and couldn’t wait
to give it to her niece. Because she did not ask for this insanity and gave me free rein I only charged her what I had charged for the easy ones. However, I would not even consider making another like it for less than five hundred dollars. This may seem outrageous but when you look at the picture of the back all of that sewing was done by hand. There was no machine involved.

Mole Moral ~ It’s dangerous to give a creative person (who doesn’t think she’s creative) free rein.

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The hot water heater

A couple of weeks ago Brian came up from the basement furious because the hot water heater was leaking. Since he can fix almost anything I asked if he could fix it. He said no we need a new one and then “Red, you need to call these people and demand a new one for free.” To which I responded “Negatory, I just spent the day at the ATT store resetting my pin to cancel and on phone with Charter getting the Golf and NFL channel added for you. Looks like you’re calling.”
So he called and it had a six-year warranty so it would be replaced for free. He just had to take the old one out, bring it to store and get the new one. Because of the mole luck he called the store first and they said bring it on down no problem.
Last week as I was leaving for work he and his current work partner Bobby pull up. They are off to replace the hot water heater. About three days later Brian says I guess I can now tell you what happened. He and Bobby drag the hot water heater into the basement and then Bobby asks him if he wants to unbox it outside. Brian was like no I’m not dragging this back outside, that’s stupid. So as they were opening Bobby yells and takes a run for it. Then a mouse runs out behind him and straight into Emily’s room. Brian pretty much moved to Emily’s room when he was doing the hardwood in our room. He says he sleeps much better down there and I’m like cool I’ll take the queen to myself. When Kayla heard this she thought we were getting divorced. I assured her we are still a married couple just sleep better apart. Hahaha.
After the hot water heater was installed Brian went to the store to get mouse traps. He says to me I strategically placed eight traps and caught it in less than an hour.  I looked at him and said was eight really necessary? He assured me it was.

Mole moral ~ One mouse trap is good but eight is better. If anyone needs some traps we have a few extra

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Running with the Barry’s

I believe I started running about ten years ago. I met Meg Barry nine years ago when she transferred to Women’s Heath after her sixth child. She has vivid memories of her first shift with me that involved the Mercy Heartprints’s program but as usual I have zero memory. She was a lot of fun and we hit it off instantly.
Over the years I learned she played soccer in college and that is where she met her husband Dan. He played baseball and was being scouted until he tore his Achilles’ tendon. It’s just as well because if he were pro, I would have never met Meg. My crazy friend ended up having eleven children (six boys, five girls) before she closed up shop. She then decided to get back into shape. I had heard all these years bad knees, no way can she ever run again. So she started walking then tried running  but jumped up mileage way too fast and swore her knees were shot. I talked to her about slowing it down and soon she was not only running but super fast. She swears she is not fast but anyone in the eight minute mile pace range is super fast for me. I was jealous for a while but I finally got over it. This is not a competition and my running is more slow but endurance. I’d rather run six hours than super fast over a short distance. She tells me I’m crazy she could never run a full marathon. I think I said that before too.
So we signed up for the 7k St Patrick’s Day run at Creve Coeur Lake. I did this race right after my headache two years ago and have zero memory of it. I do have the shirt and the pint glass. I did it last year as well so this year was a no brainer. The pint glass is awesome. Since Meg and Dan live close they had me drive over to ride together.
The race was supposed to be on Saturday but was postponed until Sunday due to weather. This made it on daylight savings time so we all lost an hour of sleep. I had been deathly sick all week and finally climbed out of bed Friday evening. I had also been put on steroids so sleep was not my friend. I show up to the Barry’s at 7:30 (really 6:30) and Meg has always told me she’s not a morning person. She’s not kidding. She asked me why the hell was I so chipper. I said well I’ve been awake for over an hour and on steroids. She and Dan then proceed to tell me today is not going to go well. Dan swears he’s hung over and Meg said she had too much sleep.
So we ran it and by the time I finished they were moving the car closer and exchanging Dans shirt. Since I know how to look results up I do that for them. I discover Dan finished third for his age group and Meg missed third by nine-tenths of a second! I made Dan pick up his medal. I was so excited for him and so annoyed for meg that she barely missed it. I shall live placing in races through them and they can live endurance through me.
Later on Meg looks at her Fitbit to see how much she slept. It said she didn’t wake up until 8:10. By that time we were walking around the park. I thought she looked half asleep but I guess she really was. We have already agreed we are doing it again next year because it was so much fun.
Mole Moral ~ Never say never! Meg said she would never be a runner and yet here she is!!