Confess it, don’t stress it

My mom gave Emily real pearls for obtaining her doctorate in physical therapy this past May. When Emily was little she would put on all of my moms necklaces and play dress up. When Emily joined a sorority her big sister bought her a string of not real pearls. (fake just sounds super cheap) and Emily wore them a lot in college. Always makes me think of June Cleaver from Leave it to Beaver fame. Because Emily had decided to do traveling Physical Therapy she left behind her pearls for me to put in the safe deposit box to keep them from getting lost or stolen. The box they came in sat on the ironing board for two months before I decided I would take them to the safety deposit box. This was around the end of August. I must confess I hate cleaning and swear on my death-bed I will not say I wish I kept my house cleaner. So I opened the box and they were not in there. I figured they were around the living room somewhere and I would find them eventually.

It is now December and I still have not found them. Emily has finally recovered from her fourth kidney stone and her first surgery to have one removed. So I bite the bullet last night and call her and tell her I cannot find them anywhere. She says you put them in the safe deposit box. I said no I did not and I just took everything out of it and brought it home to organize it. So she says they are in the special bag to keep them in and to look in her room on the computer desk. So I wander down there while I am talking to her and sure enough right there they sit. Now I had looked on and in the computer desk at least three times in the past trying to find the stupid things and yet now they are right there waving a flag that says hi you blind old lady.

Emily found the entire thing  hilarious. Especially that I had been worrying for months that I had lost them and would have to try to secretly replace them. Except I couldn’t even do that because it wouldn’t be the ones my mom bought her. I should have just called her straight away and asked her instead of being my own worst enemy. As many times as I have lost my debit card and my credit card, I am not sure why she would entrust me not to lose her pears.


Mole Moral ~ The real question is; will the pearls make it to the safe deposit box before I misplace them again?


Why I do races

I often get asked why I do so many races and there are two simple reasons. The first one is practical and the second one is just crazy. I have found that if I don’t have a race coming up then I find every excuse not to run and can go three weeks without running at all. However, if I have a distance race in the future I will stick to the training plan and run all of them so I am well prepared. I recently signed up for a full marathon in April so that I will keep on running. It is my me time, my God time and my keep me from killing people time.

The second and real reason I do races is for the medals. Disney by far had the best medals and I have them in a shadow box. The rest of my medals are hanging on a curtain rod in my room. Recently I was thinking that when I die my kids will have to throw them all away because seriously who wants them besides me. Today was the Santa’s North Pole Dash. This is my favorite 5K and you get a medal as well. Todays medal did not disappoint. The shirt choices were either a Santa shirt or this my favorite Christmas movie.


I have three Santa shirts so I picked the Christmas Story shirt instead. I wasn’t even thinking that the medal might be related to the shirt so I was in for a real treat.


I was thinking that after I died my kids could use this as a Christmas ornament to remember me by. Then my friend Theresa’s husband told me to put my face in the opening and that was the best idea ever. So after at least twenty minutes of finding a picture, running out of ink, and cutting it wrong twice it is all finished.

Mole Moral ~ I found the way to be immortal, live on as a Christmas ornament so everyone can remember their insane crazy mother, grandmother, great-grandmother etc.


Never say Never

Yesterday I woke up at four in the morning puking and with the same headache as I had this past February. Looking back, it had been brewing for at least two weeks just like last time. My arm was even acting up with the numbness. I finally caved in around one and texted my friend for the number of her chiropractor. Yes I crossed over to the dark side and once again was burned by the word never.
Last time my headache did not respond to anything that was effective for migraines. It was only after I went to my primary doc who is a DO and demanded he adjust my neck that I had any sort of relief. A couple months ago an article about cervogenic headaches showed up in my Facebook news feed. (Sometimes I think Facebook can read my mind. Haha) After reading up on it I had every single symptom with one sided headache and left arm numbness. I decided that day if it ever came back I’d risk being disowned by my daughter Emily DPT and go have my neck adjusted. I would have went to a DPT if I didn’t need a referral from my doctor. In other states it is open access for physical therapy and a referral not needed but as usual the backwards state of Missouri is behind the times.
So when I texted my friend she said the DC was at a funeral today. My first thought of course because that’s my life. But the DC got back to me later and could see me last night. After trigger point release, deep tissue massage, and adjustment my headache was 80% better. I could sit up without feeling like my head was going to explode and the tingling, numbness in my arm was gone. She gave me exercises to do as well. And then Emily called me but she didn’t disown me for now.
This morning my headache is gone but my left neck and shoulder is killing me. She warned me it would be sore. But I actually have better range in my neck and my shoulders are not tense balls of steel. She said I should be good after four treatments which works for me. She reminded me of my counselor nazi who told me if I wasn’t better in a year at the very most, she had no business treating me.

Mole Moral ~ My entire life I said I would never go to a quackopractor and low and behold I have once again eaten my words! I will NEVER learn!


What famous person would you want to be friends with?

This question was proposed at the last Edge of the semester a couple of weeks ago. Josh showed pictures of people like Beyoncé, Bieber, Timberlake, and sports people. It made me start thinking about this and there are three people I would want to be friends with in real life. Except I’m old enough to be all of their mothers but that’s ok as young people seem to be able to tolerate me pretty well.

All three of them are bloggers. The first one I have already mentioned as she writes beauty beyond bones. I finally caught up on her blog and look forward every Monday and Thursday for her latest post. I receive them in email which makes my life so much easier. She grew up in Ohio (I think) and moved to New York to live the actress dream. So she has the New York apartment and does all the cool stuff. She knows so much about the bible and has no problem putting her faith out there for everyone to see. I just think she would make a dynamite friend.

The second blogger writes cat h bradley and she also lives in New York. I’ve only been to Manhattan once back in 2003 and swore I would never go there again so I can live it through these two. I first started reading Cat when she was training for her first full marathon. She indeed finished the New York Marathon this year and I learned that it is so big that the starting waves start at seven and end at ten. That right there marked that race right off of my list. She is also a recovering alcoholic and I believe an eating disorder. I enjoy her blog and I know she would also be a great friend.

The final blogger writes running 4 meyer and I think I found her through Cat but I am not sure. My memory sucks. Anyway after I read her first post I thought she seems like she’s from South Africa. Sure enough she lives in Cape Town. She changed her eating habits and started working out to lose weight. She is extremely sarcastic and so freaking funny. I have shared her blog with both a running friend and a non running friend who just crack up. It was reading her blog that made me start thinking about my trip to South Africa and my inspiration for a teenage love story. Shortly after I posted that she used Afrikaans words in her post and because of the internet I could look them up like I owned an Afrikaans dictionary.

All three of these young women are incredible and write so well. I would be thrilled to meet any one of them and honored to be their friend. However I cannot see myself living in New York any time soon and the plane flight to South Africa would kill me so for now I will just enjoy all of their blogs and be encouraging to them.


Mole Moral~Famous people are just normal people so I chose normal people to be friends with!


The Soon to be Bionic Grandma

It has been a week since my mom fell and broke her humerus. I took her to Mercy ER and I found the entire visit disappointing at the time. They basically got her in and out in record time. They took an X-ray and said your arm is broke right below the shoulder, it will heal without surgery, here is some pain medicine and see this orthopedic person in a week. Oh I forgot about the “cheap piece of shit” sling they gave her to use as well.

So my mom hasn’t complained too much this past week but I did find it odd how bad her arm hurt and the only way it didn’t was if she had the back part of the sling near the elbow pulled up really high. It would have to be readjusted at least once a day until I finally invested in safety pins and pined that sucker. The doctor’s office seemed appalled by this. (morons). She kept saying she could feel her bone shifting around but I just chalked that up to her being a whack job. Today they took different X-rays as the hospital only got a front view due to the amount of extreme pain my mom was in. It still hurt like hell but they got back views as well. Imagine my surprise when the first orthopedic doctor walks in and basically says you practically crushed your shoulder, tore up your rotator cuff, and you have more fractures lower in the shaft of your humerus. Then said surgery is the best option to fix this. It may heal on its own but its slow and painful and the ball at the top of your humerus can die due to poor blood supply. His next words, I don’t do this surgery, one of my partners does. I am more of a spine guy. So my mom says can I see him today, preferably like right now. So he leaves and the next guy walks in. Both of these dudes were wonderful. He said that they like to wait until the swelling goes down before they do surgery. When I told him it was a week ago he seemed shocked. I said the ER told us to follow-up in a week so that is what we did. He then said great we can do it towards the end of this week. He sent us to talk to the surgery scheduler after he answered our questions.

I think God blocked the ER from knowing the truth last week so they couldn’t tell my mom. If she knew last week what a mess her arm was in and how it would be closer to two weeks before anyone could do anything about it she might have been a bigger mess. Also at least after talking to the doctor she knew she was no longer crazy about feeling her arm bone shifting around. I recind the whack job thought. She is going to have a reverse total shoulder replacement and he said the pain from the surgery will be much less than what she is currently experiencing. So that was good news. Hopefully by the end of the week the new bionic shoulder is in place and my mom is back to being her old self.


Mole Moral ~ If you are going to break something, you might as well break it into fifteen pieces and do a number on it. I’d give this one the number TEN!


The Mole Work Ethic

My mom use to worry that my girls would not have a good work ethic because they did not have a job in high school. Emily’s first job was after her second year of college. She worked in a pharmaceutical factory packing boxes in Fenton. The factory closed before the end of the summer. She worked with a lot of former Chrysler workers and they all encouraged her to finish her college education. The next two summers she worked as a nanny and really enjoyed it. That job was way too challenging in my opinion. My own kids are bad enough, no way would I want to deal with someone else’s. Kayla got a job towards the end of her senior year at Swing Around Fun Town. They love her there and promoted her to lead after her first year. She still works there on breaks and summer vacation. Allyson has been at her job for two weeks now.

Emily is working out in California now as a physical therapist. She was diagnosed almost a month ago with a kidney stone. She is in a small town with only one urologist within fifty miles. She needs surgery to remove this stone but that won’t happen for another week. However, she has gone to work every single day anyway. Some days she lays down between patients and texts me that she is dying. The doctor wants her to take the day off after she has surgery and she has told me there is no way she is dong that and plans to work. It will be interesting to see how that works out. Kayla pretty much goes in extra whenever she is asked. She trades hours with people, stays late, goes in early or leaves early as needed. She worked her last shift before starting Missouri State but then the next day she ended up going in for two hours to help out in the kitchen. So her last day was really her second last day. Allyson has already worked for someone who was sick since she had nothing else going on. So I think my mom was worried for nothing.

They say with kids they really do watch what do and not so much what you say. Brian in all the years he has worked has maybe missed five days because he was sick. He did take two months off after he gave his kidney to his father because I forced him too. With that major of a surgery he did not need to be back at work lifting all of that heavy stuff. I can’t remember exactly when I went to all of my shifts being eleven am to seven pm but its been at least five years. My hours really are anywhere from seven am until five pm just depending on how many surgeries, how many nurses are scheduled and what is going on. I pretty much trade with whoever needs to switch a day. My kids are modeling this behavior but yesterday took the cake and the purpose for this blog.

The charge nurse had called around 11:30 to say she needed me. So I was driving to work talking to my best friend Meg when my mom called. I didn’t answer but when she left a message I told Meg I better get off the phone. My mom had fallen and was pretty sure she had broken her arm. There was another nurse on call, so I called her and asked her if she would go in for me so I could go see what was going on with my mother. The charge nurse decided she didn’t need her right then but needed someone at three to cover the eight-hour shift nurse that was leaving. Amy agreed to go in for me and I would take on call. So my mom did indeed break her humerus right below where it meets the shoulder. They gave her a sling and said she could go home. It was now four pm and I was on call until five so I we went up to my floor to hang out. I did not want to get twenty minutes away from the hospital and get called back in. Well sure enough at four-thirty they paged three unexpected patient’s so I clocked in and my mom hung out in our waiting room until I got off at seven-thirty. She said she took the best nap ever on the couch in the waiting room. I got her home around eight last night and opened all kinds of food and things for her because you can’t do anything with one hand. She sees the orthopedic doctor on Monday.


Mole moral ~ The mole kids are either half crazy or have a great work ethic, since they seem to be doing what their parents do.


Never Date a Patient

At some point in nursing school we were told not to ever date patients but I don’t remember the rational behind it. Now I usually follow all the rules but this one I broke. I cannot remember if I was still working as a student nurse assistant or a graduate nurse. I think the latter but I was taking care of a guy who was probably around eighteen that had attempted suicide. I have no idea why he was on my floor but he and I got along pretty well. His father asked if I wanted to go to the cardinals game with the two of them and I thought why not. So his dad gave me a ticket and I was meeting them at the game.

So I showed up at the game and guess who was sick? Certainly not the dad but the kid. I being the naive person I am didn’t really think anything about it until the old man starting putting the moves on me. He was my father’s age but back then that was super old to a young twenty something. The game ended up getting rained out in the fifth inning and this dude insisted on driving me to my car. When he dropped me off he kissed me and I about vomited. I also thought to myself no wonder you son tried to kill himself, you are a real piece of work. After I got home my mom said why didn’t you just say you were going to the bathroom and leave. That would be because I was too naive to even think of that. This was before cell phones and texting or I could have texted her (she would have been young enough at that time to get on the texting bandwagon) and she could have told me what to do.

Now that I am older this is so scary. That guy could have driven off with me, raped me, killed me or who knows what else. My first thought was this is why they tell you in nursing school not to date patients. The worst part about it was the jerk kept calling me at work wanting me to go to the make up game with him. My dad told me to get his phone number and he would take care of him. I don’t know what he said but I never heard from him again. It would be the last time I ever considered doing anything with a patient outside the hospital setting.


Mole Moral ~ Rules are made for a reason, FOLLOW THEM!