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The Bleeing Edge

This Netflix documentary was released the week I was at Big Stuf camp. I had quite a few people ask me if I had watched it yet. I finally sat down and watched it two days ago. I wish I could say I was shocked but I wasn’t, as most of it I already knew.

It’s been almost four years since I was a work and someone said Rachel Dr. Veronikis is calling from the OR and wants to talk to you. First of all Dr. V rarely calls anyone, much less from the OR so I went totally paranoid and figured he was going to yell at me. Instead he said I want you to go in and talk to my patient in 16. We had just moved to our new unit and I had to figure out where that room was. So I walked into Melynda’s room and said something like hi I’m Rachel and Dr. V told me to come talk to you. She had mesh removed by a doctor in California and was here for reconstruction with Dr. V. She shared her story with me.

I must say not only was she super nice but she was super smart. She had one of the Johnson and Johnson mesh put in. It wasn’t the small piece that supports the urethra but an entire thing that lifted the bladder up and had arms. She told me they knew when it was brought on the market their would be some lawsuits so they set aside a slush fund to cover them. There were no trials or studies on living women. The mesh had gotten approval through the 510k process. If a new product is similar to one currently on the market it is approved without trials or research. Physicians were trained over a weekend using cadavers. That’s dead women. Some physicians were also given kickbacks for every sling they placed. I have seen enough of Dr. V patients that had mesh placed that never needed it, to know this is truth. I am sure everyone involved would deny it but actions speak louder than words. Melynda added me to a Facebook group with all kinds of links to mesh articles. I read as much as I could and joined a few of the public groups to stay informed and keep up with what is going on.

So I started the show knowing full well I would be furious, but it was way worse than I imagined. It started with essure, the coils placed in tubes to prevent pregnancy   Again very little training and doctors were told if you missed the tube just put in another one. One lady had five of them floating in her uterus. These are made of metal so it only seems logical people would react to these. The trials they did were rigged. Some of the gals responses were changed right in front of them to make it say they had zero complications and one hundred percent satisfied only because they weren’t pregnant. It was taken off the market in every country except for the United States. However, right before the documentary aired it was announced it would be pulled from the market at the end of this year. I guess the greedy company wants to get a little more money while turning a blind eye to all the people they have harmed.

I have never been a fan of the daVinci (robot) machine. After watching this I would not ever encourage anyone to use it. They state it’s less invasive for hysterectomy. However the least invasive is the vaginal approach. The robot makes a blind stab for the first incision and most of the time that works out fine. However when it was developed an eight month training period was recommended. However again greed knew no one would buy it or invest so it was cut to a much shorter time period. And the show says a doctor practices and then had another physician watch him for two or three times and then he can perform on his own. This is accurate in my world. They had four different women end up with their intestines falling out of their vagina. I say no thanks.

So many people have been injured, maimed and have had their life ruined and yet the greed continues. Profit before people seems to be the motto these days. The FDA 501k process is broken and the loophole needs to be closed. When some of the FDA scientist attempted to be whistleblowers they were either terminated or had their job eliminated.

I don’t have the answers except to do your homework and don’t let anyone implant anything in you without extensive research on your part. The latest greatest doesn’t always mean safest or best.

 

Mole Moral ~ Melynda found her mesh on eBay, purchased it and gave it to Dr. V at her six-week check up. It makes you wonder just how easily any untrained physician can get their hands on it and implant it into unsuspecting people.

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Not everyone knows my name

Sometime within the last month the girls at work were giving me the business about my obsession with Pokémon Go. I was talking about the raid bus and one of the second year Ob/Gyn residents joined in the conversation. Let’s flash forward to yesterday my first day back from camp.

The same resident is at the desk and he was talking about how he was at Queeny Park on Saturday with his kids when a bus pulled up into the parking lot. He thought that was really random given the time of the day until he saw me get off the bus. Then he knew it was the Pokémon bus I was talking about. I was cracking up. He left and I went on to give out some pain medicine.

A few minutes later I hear Amy answer the phone and she says just call her Pokémon girl, everyone will know who you mean. Apparently he didn’t know my name. I was cracking up and this made a great day even better!!

 

Mole moral ~ It’s reassuring to know that I’m not the only one terrible with names and I always enjoy a good nickname.

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Big Stuf and Firefighter Dave

If you know me well, you know I do not handle last minute changes or surprises. I have always been a I must know the rules and the schedule kind of gal. So if it gets changed up, it makes me crazy. So I was at Big Stuf Olympics and someone told me an EMT was coming down as well. A little later he introduced himself. He was super nice and I liked him instantly. Due to a scheduling conflict I had to leave Olympics early and didn’t talk to him for very long. By the time I arrived to my car I had forgotten his name. In my defense, I try not to remember anyones name to prevent HIPPA violations. That way I can’t talk about them if I don’t their name. Luckily a couple days later he sent me a facebook message so I confessed I had forgotten his name and why. He was cool with it.

If my family likes you, you end up with a nickname. Some of our kids friends nicknames are Toenail, McWeinee, Trollinator, Meecham Ritchelle, Amber Bamber, and a few others I cannot think of at the moment. My nickname is Big Red and we use to call Brian dad fag but that is no longer socially acceptable so most days I just call him Mole. One of my first interactions with Dave was he told me he brought down an AED (you know the shock machine for CPR) just in case. I was like finally someone more paranoid than I am. I knew I was normal. Hahaha. I had his number in my phone but hadn’t put his name with it. So when he texted me the next day I was like who is this. And since he is a firefighter the nickname Firefighter Dave was born.

It has been awesome having him around considering this years camp stuff hasn’t been the usual jellyfish stings, Band-Aid’s, or sore throats. It’s been stuff like feet rashes, bite from an unknown bug, fire ant sting. So I call him for a consult quite frequently. I have already informed him that I decided he is coming next year as well. His assessments are very hands on whereas I am more of a doorway assessment type person. I can pretty much look at a kid, diagnose them and come up with treatment with barely touching them. He comes along and he does a true assessment and draws the same conclusion. This only hammers home that I really am the queen of “doorway assessments”. This nickname comes from work where everyone swears I stand in the patients doorway yell to ask them how they are doing and come out with them fully assessed. This is a bit of an exaggeration of course but life is fun with Big Red around! Bahahahaha.

 

Mole Moral ~ My dog has at least eight nicknames which tells you who I really love the best!

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Happy Thirtieth Birthday Big Stuf!

This years theme is Original which doesn’t mean being the first of something. It means being different and better. This describes this camp perfectly. And for those interested in the history I found these gems out in the main hallway.

 

Mole Moral ~ Lanny Donoho was the founder of this camp which makes him a huge original! I am so glad he followed his heart and has touched so many people with his originality.

 

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Own it, don’t dismiss it.

A few weeks back my music switched to cycling through everything on iTunes, instead of just my play list. I usually tolerate this until one of the kids nasty worded rap songs comes on and I switch it back to my Christian music. After I saw Rob Bell two years ago I downloaded some of his first pod casts and it so happened number seven popped on. I had heard it before but I had a feeling I should listen again. I believe he called it the tapes in your head. The word tape kind of shows our age since I’m pretty sure they no longer exist.

He was talking about the way you talk about yourself in your head. So he launches into a scenario where he is playing kickball with you and you catch his ball but you trip and fall and run a spike through your chest. So he cuts the spike loose and halls you to ER. I had a hard time getting past playing kickball with Rob and not calling 911. Anyway you arrive to ER and they stat page a doctor to your room. Do you want your doctor to play this in her head? I’m not really sure about this. I graduated last in my class. There are so many doctors that are better than me. Or would you want her tape to say I’ve got this. I know exactly what needs to be done. I have the skills and the team to accomplish this. Another thing he spoke about is not owning compliments but rather dismissing them or downplaying them.
Three hours after I listened to this I walked into work and my boss was talking with another gal I had never met. The unknown called me high energy and my first thought was no I’m not. And then it was if my head shook and cleared my brain and I was like I think she’s right. So I’ve been thinking about how my life does indeed reflect high energy.
For starters my job reflects this. I am scheduled eleven am until seven-thirty pm to come in and take all the new admits. They include surgeries, direct admits (straight from home or doctors office) ER patients and moms who just had a baby that ends up in NICU. This shift originally started because for a few years the hospital did away with having people on call and we were not allowed to staff for patients who weren’t there at the start of the day. On big surgery days (10 or more) this could be a nightmare with every nurse being at max capacity and yet more surgeries needing to come. I worked three to eleven back then so a lot of times they would call me to work early. So anyway I now come in at whatever time they need me. This may be as early as eight thirty or as late as three. I sometimes have all five patients within three hours. The recovery room loves me because I almost always take report when they call and have taken back to back and say send at same time I’ll make it work. The only time this is a nightmare for me is when the patients were not given adequate pain medicine during surgery and are out of control upon arrival. This keeps me running for the first few hours. Our unit is huge and really spread out so on a crazy day I can easily hit ten thousand steps in eight hours. And to think my husband likes to harass me and say all nurses do is sit around and eat chips and dip.
My activity level screams high energy too. I walk almost three miles every day for my coffee and then around the back neighborhood. It’s also my time to play Pokémon. I’m still running and always training for something. Last years fifty mile runalone says either high energy or belongs in an insane asylum.
At the end of the same day I had a patient and her husband thank me for being the kindest nurse and person they ever met. My first reaction was to dismiss the entire compliment and then Rob popped into my head and the love dare. I remembered one of the three things Brian said he admired about me was my willingness to do whatever I could to help others. And I must admit they were right. They were of a different culture and I respected that and incorporated it into my plan of care. Plus they were Heartprint patients which will always have a special place in my heart.
So over the past three weeks I’ve been trying to own it, instead of dismissing it. I must say this is a lot harder than I thought it would be. My head tape likes to go immediately to the negative and the worst case scenario. I guess I have something to work on.
Mole Moral ~ If the tape is negative, eject it, and replace with a positive one, you deserve it!
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Matthew 25:40

I pretty much either run or walk for coffee every day of the week unless its raining or snowing. At least a couple of times a week I would pass this homeless guy who could pass for my neighbors Doppelganger. Anyway I would say hi and he would say the most crazy stuff that made zero sense to me. My doorway assessment skills diagnosed him with schizophrenia and not on medication. He seemed stuck in his own mind or maybe we are stuck in our minds and he is  the one who is free. Anyway, the last couple of weeks it had dawned on me I hadn’t seen him in quite a while.

Yesterday while getting coffee I asked the gas station girls about him. They said “Oh you mean homeless Jeff,” he has been banned from most of Arnold. However, a former gas station employee has set him up in a trailer in an undisclosed location and he is doing work such as cutting trees. He is in air conditioning and safe. They said he is doing well but still not on medication. I am not going to lie, I was blown away which made me think of the title of this blog.

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Whoever this person may be, they are truly living a life of Jesus. How much easier is it just to say hi and smile and continue on your way than to actually invite someone into your home and care for them. I have a friend who would do something like this but I can sadly say I don’t think I would. One day I will have to answer to my selfish behavior while I try to justify it by all the other things I have done for people. For example the Heartprint blankets. Luckily it’s not a contest or there would be no winners.

 

Mole Moral ~ Never be afraid to admit you use biblegateway.com to find the verse you are looking for when you know what they say, just not where they are located!

 

One of my favorite prayers!

On Monday one of my favorite bloggers posted her blog which just happened to be called A Tale of Two Churches  which you can read about it if you would like. She was out in Denver and decided to go to Saturday evening Mass (she’s a devout Catholic) and then try out Red Rocks Church. It is one of those hipster, big box, non-demonational church. Very much like my church. After all we are in the process of opening a second campus up near Ted Drews. She ended up really enjoying the service and since she’s single, she saw a lot more people there her age. It made me start thinking a lot about Abiding Savior since I had just written the Pastor Kevin blog.

Often Pastor Tom starts the announcements out with, we are not a traditional church by design. He has explained in the past that there are many many good traditional churches and if that is how you connect with God, that is where you need to be. My church just offers something different. So I was thinking about Catholic traditions and then I remembered there was a prayer PK said at the end of almost every service and for the life of me I could not remember it. However, after he left I asked him to email it to me and since I am a stalker and scrapbook like an OCD freak of nature I hunted down the scrapbook it was in (would you be shocked if I mentioned I have the month and years that each book represents? This makes it much easier to find what I am looking for) Anyway, I was putting away video games in the basement and brought the book upstairs. I read the prayer out loud to Brian and then almost burst into tears. I am telling you, getting old really messes with your head.

Go with God because God goes with you…

He goes before you to show you the way,

behind you to encourage you,

beside you to befriend you,

above you to watch over you,

under you to uplift you,

and within you to grant you His peace…

in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, AMEN!

 

I guess I didn’t realize how much I missed hearing that until I read it again. Sometimes traditions and rituals are good for the soul. Maybe one of these years I will show up at his church and see if he still says it. The last week of memories surrounding my school nurse job, church, Brian, and baptism have been wonderful. And it just seals the deal that I’m not really twenty-five like I think I am.

 

Mole Moral ~ Memories are fun and bring back both good times and bad. These were most certainly great times!