1

Inside my head

I thought I would give you all a view of what it’s like inside my head when I am running. I’ll break todays marathon down into mile by mile. Some of it is quite bizarre, like me.

Mile 1~ Holy crap these people are running fast, I’m going to end up last. No you aren’t, start slow, you will pass them later.

Mile 2~ They are still going too fast. Turn around. Oh good there are a lot of people behind me. I’m not last or close to being picked up by the too slow car and taken to the finish line.

Mile 3~ Ok that’s a five kilometer. You got this. Why are these people still running like this? Oh wait that girl passed me earlier. Rookie mistake going out too fast.

Mile 4~ Flat course my ass, what the hell is this hill doing here anyway.

Mile 5~ Time to eat a GU. I wonder if it will kill my stomach. I need to pee, where is the next Johnny on the Spot.

Mile 6~ There’s Johnny and no wait. Yay! Oh heck my running app auto paused, don’t drop your phone in the toilet trying to un-pause it.

Mile 7~ I feel really good. Maybe the Nike coach app knew what it was doing. My message today, trust your training.

Mile 8~ I am not going to the bathroom again. What the heck is wrong with my bladder. And wait my stomach isn’t too happy either. Glad I’m not running behind me.

Mile 9~ Who is calling me? Of course it’s Emily. I answer yes and she says I forgot. She has a broken toe. I talk to her while running. She says you sound really good. I said I’m at mile nine and feel great. She repeats this to her boyfriend.

Mile 10~ Time to eat again and go to the bathroom. I am never going to make the goal I set out at this rate. At least there isn’t a wait. Damn phone auto paused again. I hate this stupid thing.

Mile 11~ Ok lady running by me if you thank one more volunteer for helping I am either going to trip you or punch you in the face. I mean it’s nice you are thanking people but you are really getting on my nerves.

Mile 12~ Finally got in front of thank you lady so I can have some peace and quiet. Did I miss the turn off for the full marathon and am now running the half. Every single person I am around is wearing a half marathon bib. My pace is too slow to do a half. Oh wait there is the turn off. Thats really mean with only about three fourths of a mile to the finish for the half marathoners.

Mile 13~ Why did I take the full marathon turn? Why did I think this was a good idea? Where is everyone? Am I in last place? Oh wait I see people up ahead, maybe I can pass them. I am going to have to pick up my pace to make my goal.

Mile 14~ Slow down, you can’t run this fast or you will crap out at the end. I have to go to the bathroom again. There are people in both of them. They are taking forever. I am about to bang on the doors and tell the fools to hurry up. I have a goal to meet.

Mile 15~ Time to eat again. I am not stopping to use the bathroom again. This sling better work or else. A guy says to me “wow your hair is really red.” I say thanks even though I am not sure its a compliment. Had I not been so focused on running I would have said “Now you know why my husband calls me Big Red.” Then I start thinking about Bring It On and Married with Children. I think of myself more as the cheerleader than Peggy Bundy.

Mile 16~ A lady looks at my hair and says “I love your hair. Its the best hair of the marathon.” I thank her and make a mental note to make a Facebook status about it and tag Hollie the girl that does my hair.

Mile 17~ I still feel pretty good but I know the wall is coming soon. I tell myself I don’t have the time or the energy for it this year.

Mile 18~ Amazing I don’t feel like I would rather die, than finish. This is how I felt my other four marathons.

Mile 19~ I turn the wrong way and the course volunteers have to yell at me to get me to go the right direction.

Mile 20~ Time to eat again. Wait wheres my other GU. Oh crap it must have fallen out of my pocket. A kid offers jellybeans so I take a handful. I hear him say that girl took a whole handful. I almost turned around and said “there aren’t that many people left, you have plenty.” Instead I shove them all in my mouth and say sugar don’t do me wrong.

Mile 21~ Some girls are handing out GU at the water stand. I snag salted caramel the very best kind. I tell myself at mile 23 I am downing it and then running the last three miles as much as I possibly can.

Mile 22~ I attempt to go the wrong way again. This seems to be a pattern. I finally pass these two girls that I have been playing tag with since mile 13 for good. They are younger than me so I think I am twenty-five.

Mile 23~ My stomach hates me but I chug the GU anyway. I started running. I run about three fourths of a mile straight which is pretty freaking amazing seeing as what mile I am at. I am a run/walk type of girl.

Mile 24~ A group of guys are on the corner with drinks. The one tells me I look like I just started. I said I wished. He asked me if I wanted a beer. I say “no thanks, I would be drunk as a skunk.” They all crack up laughing and I congratulate myself on being funny after being at this for five and a half hours.

Mile 25~ Paranoia sets in about if I will meet my goal or not. A kid is handing out Jolly Ranchers, I take one and its the best decision ever. I envision the sugar coursing through my bloodstream giving me just enough energy to finish this and meet my goal.

Mile 26~ There is no one around and I totally go the wrong way, probably wasted a good thirty seconds of time. I am now convinced the only way I could possibly make goal is to run like a bear is chasing me.

Mile 26.2~ I made it. Cross the finish line at the 50 yard line at U of I stadium. It takes another twenty minutes for my official time to post. Yep beat my goal by an entire 49 seconds but I don’t care because I achieved it and I ran a 5K the night before. Go me!

Post run~ Where is my car? I did manage to pin it on my maps but the directions make no sense. The girl starts yelling in my ear turn around and go the opposite way. I think she’s nuts and then I remember I have ZERO sense of direction so I listen to her. I finally find my car, it was .9 miles away. It makes total sense to run a marathon and then walk another mile to your car.

 

Mole Moral~ Setting a goal and achieving it leads to great satisfaction, no matter how crazy your sound!

Advertisements
1

A Different Training Plan

I just realized it’s been a month since I posted anything. I have had four blog posts in my head and yet have not bothered to write any. I think I will start with a running one to be super annoying. I try not to post on Facebook about running too much because I don’t want to be that girl.

After completing the big ultra marathon I decided I wanted to work some on speed. The entire time I trained for the ultra I did not push myself because I didn’t want to get injured and have to delay the race again. Starting training over once because of the headache was more than enough. My goal is not to be the fastest, win a race or even beat my personal best. I have had two major foot surgeries since a personal best. I did decide I would like to finish a full in under six hours so the next step was finding a training plan.

I have used the Nike+ app since I first started running. Almost everyone I know switched to Garmin but I refused to lose the thousand miles I had already logged. I decided to use the coach section on the app for the marathon training plan. I had just come off of running five days a week with the shortest run being four miles. I looked at the schedule and thought how in the world will this work.

For starters it’s only four days a week which turned out to be a blessing in disguise. And sometimes it’s only mileage two of those days with a 15 minute benchmark run and a cross training day. Sometimes I get to do speed workouts where I run as fast as I can for either 200, 400, 800 or 1600 meters and then walk for a set amount of time and repeat. Anyway I was really thinking this was all bull hockey till a couple of weeks ago when my speed workout splits were this.

DF1AE4C2-79C4-4BBA-B203-C5C44B53D147

My marathon is the end of April and I’m now starting to believe under six hours is totally doable. However I have to quiet the voice in my head that says how about a PR. That would be under 5:25:00 to which I tell that voice to shut the hell up…….for now.

 

Mole moral ~ Following a new plan may allow you to see or do things you never thought you were capable of.

0

Time and the Track

Today I went to Seckman High school’s track to do speed work. For this years marathon training I decided to use my Nike plus running app coach. This is a totally free coach and since I’m pretty self motivated it works for me. So today was run 400 meters (one lap) and then walk for two and a half minutes and then repeat ten times. It gave me a projected pace of 10:37 which as usual triggered my anxiety for no reason. My pace for the running portion was 9:35.
When I first arrived I realized it’s been a long time since I was there. When I trained for my first half back in 2005 l did almost all my runs there and counted laps. So as I looked at the football field and admired the AstroTurf I thought about all the changes.

61EC74E8-DD7E-4A5A-9EF9-6B3024F375BD

My very first time at the track I was still smoking. So I would smoke all the way there, do my miles, and smoke all the way home. I listened to a portable CD player and headphones and was there a lot of times when the kids were out for gym.

Another four years passed before I did my next half. By this time I had quit smoking and iPods had been invented and I owned one. Nike invented a chip that went in your shoe and correlated with your iPod to keep track of distance. I would soon ditch the track because it was monotonous running in circles.

The following year I invested in an iPhone and upgraded to Nike+ running app and ditched the chip. I also no longer had to carry my phone and my iPod. I then started running on the road and convinced myself I am invisible and no one can see my running. It was the only way I survived running without having major anxiety that people were laughing at me.

I seriously cannot remember the last time I was at the track. Most likely the summer I was supposed to run a race to benefit Seckman track club and had the start time wrong and missed the race. I thought about the guy that took care of the football field grass and would mark it for football games. I wonder what he is doing now. He would always say hi to me even though I was invisible at the track as well.

Mole moral~No matter how hard one tries, it is impossible to slow down both time and the change that comes with it.

0

Treadmill vs Indoor Track

As I begin to type this I want to clarify something first. The best place to run is outside. I would rather be out there any given time. However, when the heat index is over 100 or the wind chill is less than twenty then running outdoors is not a safe option. Saint Louis has been stupid cold for the past two weeks, just in time for me to start full marathon training. The holidays were also factored in so that made me stuck on the treadmill for the past week and a half but today I managed to make it to the Arnold Rec Center.

I love the rec center. I would rather do thirteen laps per mile than run on a treadmill not really moving. Everyone is like just watch TV. No matter what I put on, I am staring at how long I have been on the stupid thing just waiting for it to be over. At the indoor track I can people watch. Usually there are boys playing basketball below me, or girls practicing baton or couples playing pickle ball. Also on the track, I recognize people who I see from time to time. Although I don’t talk to any of them, I have names for them and know if they are there, then they are well. There is a couple that walk together all the time and they are fast walkers. They probably pull a thirteen minute mile. I like to follow them when I am not running but walking. Last year when I was training for the fifty mile a guy asked me what I was training for. So I told him about the race. He lives close to me and told me he saw me on the outer road all the time as well. One day in September he was driving and saw me and pulled over and asked how the race was. So I told him all about it. He was there today and stopped me because he was telling his friend about me and wanted to know how long it took me. I said 13:57. They asked me if I was going to do it again this year. I said hell no, one and done. They both started laughing.

There was a guy named Ron who use to be there all the time. I haven’t seen him in almost a year. I need to ask a couple of the regulars what happened to him. Today a gal was wearing an Oak Bridge Church shirt and I almost said to her, best church ever! She might have thought I was crazy. However running 10 miles there today was totally normal! Although ten miles on a treadmill is total insanity. I would go to the indoor track any time any day when the weather is uncooperative.

Mole Moral~ Find an exercise you enjoy and stick to it. You never know who you might meet or who you might encourage!

0

Why I do races

I often get asked why I do so many races and there are two simple reasons. The first one is practical and the second one is just crazy. I have found that if I don’t have a race coming up then I find every excuse not to run and can go three weeks without running at all. However, if I have a distance race in the future I will stick to the training plan and run all of them so I am well prepared. I recently signed up for a full marathon in April so that I will keep on running. It is my me time, my God time and my keep me from killing people time.

The second and real reason I do races is for the medals. Disney by far had the best medals and I have them in a shadow box. The rest of my medals are hanging on a curtain rod in my room. Recently I was thinking that when I die my kids will have to throw them all away because seriously who wants them besides me. Today was the Santa’s North Pole Dash. This is my favorite 5K and you get a medal as well. Todays medal did not disappoint. The shirt choices were either a Santa shirt or this my favorite Christmas movie.

66F9C067-84F0-45B0-BC61-7301CBAF6397

I have three Santa shirts so I picked the Christmas Story shirt instead. I wasn’t even thinking that the medal might be related to the shirt so I was in for a real treat.

604DBA90-FC04-45F0-8770-BF98987E4295

I was thinking that after I died my kids could use this as a Christmas ornament to remember me by. Then my friend Theresa’s husband told me to put my face in the opening and that was the best idea ever. So after at least twenty minutes of finding a picture, running out of ink, and cutting it wrong twice it is all finished.

Mole Moral ~ I found the way to be immortal, live on as a Christmas ornament so everyone can remember their insane crazy mother, grandmother, great-grandmother etc.

3

Pokemon Go 10K Walk

I downloaded Pokemon Go probably a week after it came out but I only was interested in catching one of each Pokemon because I didn’t really know anything about the game. Around the time I got the major headache, Emily’s boyfriend at the time finally talked her into downloading it. I then learned all kinds of stuff, like how to evolve one Pokemon into another. I always had it up and running on my daily walk to U-Gas for coffee and one day one of the young kids told me they had Facebook groups for Pokemon Go . So I found the one for St. Louis and learned even more stuff, like where the nests were, what events were happening and who caught what. The group has a lot of really nice people in it. Emily joined too and we played a lot together until she moved away.

A few months ago, I noticed a kid with the screen name Tony Bologna had never caught a Porygon and he would make jokes about it.

22688852_10155160392937831_565997432116687318_n

It then became the standing joke that anytime anyone caught one or hatched one he would get tagged in the post. He would always make the angry face in response. Some people even started naming them the Tonygon. He was a great sport who then asked the question would anyone want to walk with him while he attempted to hatch one. I thought this was a great idea and Porygon can be found in 10K eggs which meant a 6.2 mile walk. So after a bunch of talking in the group it was decided to do a walk to benefit Stray Rescue. I got the best dog ever from them so I was all in.

The walk was this afternoon and I skipped the Halloween 10K this morning because I was up half the night with stomach issues. I attempted to talk myself out of going to this as well but I had bought t-shirts which I needed to pick up. I didn’t know anyone that was going so I put myself way out of my comfort zone and showed up. Tony is a nice kid who never STOPPED talking. I felt like I was back out hunting with Emily who also never stops talking. He made me realize how much I miss her but since he kept on talking I got over that rather quickly. He started off by leading us down the wrong path so we all had to turn around. I love this guy as I would have done the exact same thing.

It was like eight loops around the lake or maybe it was seven. We started out with twenty-five people and ended up with five or six that did all of the laps together. Some of the others left early and some walked a little slower. It didn’t help that it started misting and continued on for a couple of miles. It didn’t bother me at all after the half marathon Emily and I ran with the first nine miles being pretty much a downpour requiring our phones to be in plastic bags. I was thinking I cannot believe we are doing this many loops until I reminded my crazy self my 50K consisted of a .8 mile loop and I ran 26 miles on a cruise ship and 336 laps (28 miles) at the rec center this summer. The kids walking with me had no idea what a total nut job they were with. They were probably thinking this old hag is in pretty good shape.

To hatch eggs in the game you have to put them in incubators. Tony had been saving his 10k eggs so that he had nine of them and could walk and hatch them all at once. The game gives you one unlimited incubator but if you want more you have to buy them with coins. You either get coins by buying them with real money or earning coins by leaving your Pokemon in gyms. (Ok I admit this sounds almost as crazy as trying to explain soap operas.) So we came to the end of the 10K and his eggs started hatching but prior to this he shared a really cool story with us and this is why he has made my blog.

This past week he was at Des Pair park and he came across a Porygon in the wild but he did not attempt to catch it. He walked on right past it as it would have ruined the walk since the whole point was help Tony hatch one. Here this kid has been trying to get one for a year and a half and he has the opportunity right in front of him and he bypasses it to make the walk legitimate. As soon as he told the story I texted Emily and said he’s making the blog. It’s a real good thing he’s already married because after spending two hours with him, I think he’d make a fantastic son-in-law. His wife’s parents are very lucky.

So his eggs started hatching and I was nervous for him. The first thing hatched was Dratini and then something else. However number three was a Porygon and so was number four, so he could evolve one into Porygon2. His wife’s reaction yay he can finally shut up about not having one. He then said no reason to play the game anymore except he doesn’t have an unknown or a shiny and neither do I. So I am pretty sure we will both keep on playing. He would like to have another event next year but is cutting it down to a 5K. I thought about suggesting a fifty mile and who ever finishes it gets all the prizes. Hahahaha, just kidding, I am not doing that again.

 

Mole Moral~ People can be whoever they want on the internet, some people are even cooler in real life than Facebook. Tony Bologna is one of them and even though I don’t believe that is his last name it was awesome meeting him today!

0

Mo Cowbell Marathon

The Mo Cowbell half marathon replaced the Lewis and Clark marathon back in 2011. I ran the last Lewis and Clark half marathon and then the first Cowbell marathon. Four years ago the full marathon was added as an option. That year I had plantar fascia release on my right foot and the next year on my left. The third year it was two weeks before my fifty kilometer race so it was out once again. I decided I was running it in 2017 no matter what. I had originally planned to run the fifty in April but due to the headache from Hell I had to postpone it until August. This meant I had six weeks between races.

I had decided to do the ultimate reset and took three weeks off from exercise. I had a hard time having enough energy to walk much less consider running. And the next three weeks I just kind of ran but not super hard. I have done the half marathon three times so I remembered the course well. The second half was much tougher. I thought it was an out and back on the Katy trail but it wasn’t exactly. We somehow hooked up to a connector trail or something and I ran past one of the cake locations that Allyson and I only found by seeing the bridge in the picture and driving to it. It was close to the Family Arena. I felt great until mile 15 and then not so much. The same thing happened during the fifty mile. By mile twenty I was pretty sick of running. I only got through it by reminding myself I only had six more miles instead of thirty.

Around mile sixteen I started receiving texts from Emily. She was at urgent care with a massive kidney infection. They gave her three shots, one was an antibiotic, one was anti-nausea and the other an anti-inflammatory. They also checked her for strep and felt she most likely had viral strep and put her on an oral antibiotic as well. They were considering sending her to the ER. I think I finished the marathon about the time they decided to send her home and told her to come back the next day for another antibiotic shot.

I could blame my time on texting while running but it’s really because all summer I did not train for speed at all. I trained for endurance to make it through the fifty without dropping dead. I also didn’t want to push it too hard and injure myself and not be able to run the fifty. So this winter I plan to work on running a lot more and walking a lot less. I don’t plan to be super fast or win a race but I would like to beat my very first marathon time which was 5:25:00. We shall see if I can actually not have something else happen to make me start all over with running for the fourth or fifth time.

 

Mole Moral~ The faster I run, the sooner I’m done!