Monthly Archives: December 2023

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A Quilt for my Sister

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It’s been two and a half years since my father passed. His wife gave me and my sister all his shirts and flannels. She specifically asked me not to make her a quilt out of his shirts as it would be too painful to look at. She asked me to do something with his ties so I made this pillow.

He had some ugly ties, but that’s ok he’s dead and it won’t hurt his feelings.

I decided I wanted my quilt made out of the flannels and Karen wanted the shirts. So after I cut all the flannels up my sister says to me, you saved one for Sierra right? Remember she wanted one. And in slow motion like Christmas Story the F word went off slowly in my head. So I had to go to plan B. I decided I would make her one as well and do hers first. I finished hers for her graduation from college. If you look at the solid squares you will notice it forms a C for Carty. It resembles well the way my dad makes a C. The middle square has a pocket and in it is one of my dads monogrammed handkerchiefs.

It was probably six months before I finished mine. My goal was to embroider all the Carty’s names and dates since when my father died, the Carty line ended. His dad had five sisters and no brothers. My dads oldest brother adopted a son but he passed at forty-five and did not have any children. His middle brother did not have kids. I still have not done this but here’s my quilt. It is slightly bigger than Sierra’s I have a pocket dead center but have not put a handkerchief in it yet.

After this I put the top to my sisters quilt together. I started hand quilting when my new dog decided to chew the thread. Trying to unwind it was a nightmare and it came off in little pieces. I went to replace it and they didn’t have that color anymore. So it sat in my room forever. About four weeks before Christmas I decided I was finishing it. Back in October I had done a quilt for my uncle and in one of the squares I thought it would be cool to put Love , Eddie in Eddie’s handwriting. I got to thinking if the tattoo artist could get my dads signature on my arm, perhaps there was a way with material. Thanks to the magic of the internet, I found a blog about Sulky stabilizer. Basically you can print from computer onto it. Then you peel it off and it sticks to material. Embroider over the lines and then when the quilt is washed the stabilizer disappears leaving only the thread behind. Originally I had planned for my sister to use washable fabric marker to make this little guy she always drew on her cards to my dad.

However now that I could print from my computer and my dads wife gave me every piece of paper from his work, I had a gold mine of information and creativity. So here is the quilt and then I will give an explanation of each square. This information is for my kids but feel free to continue reading if you are interested.

When my dad was in Shriners having surgery on his legs, he spent a lot of time reading as there was nothing else to do. He was an avid reader for the rest of his life. When I asked for the book Flowers In The Attic, he bought it for me but read it first. He said to me “I’m not sure I should let you read this, it may warp you for life.” I still have the book and now you all know why I’m like the way I am.

My dad became very weird about his birthday. When he turned fifty, my sister snuck over to his house and decorated his yard. When he woke up that morning, he called me and went off on me. So when I called her to tell her he yelled at me, she cancelled our birthday dinner.

We would go out, just the three of us for our birthdays. Eventually it became a nightmare to schedule so we just went for his. We were at Pasta House in Arnold one year when the waiter asked who was ordering first. The following square is what flew out of my sisters mouth. Thank God the waiter kept it on the down low and quietly brought a small piece of cake.

My dad rode a bike all of his life. I remember him riding 50 miles on the Katy trail more than once. My dad wasn’t your normal biker. He never ever wore shorts and always rode in jeans. He did not have a fancy seat either. He gave me his bike a few years back when his knee could no longer take pedaling. My sister got a bike tattoo after he passed. Ho-hum was something he said a lot when we talked on Saturdays. I can still hear him say it.

His applications for top security clearance included every address he had lived at. So I managed to scan them and then line them up so that I could put them on this quilt. They are also in his handwriting.

My dads first birthday after he passed Karen and I planned to go to Salem. We also wanted to find the farm where he grew up. Back in those days his address was John Carty Doss MO. That was not real helpful. I had only been to the farm twice. The first time around the age of ten when the farmhouse burned to the ground. It was believed to be intentionally set by the owners for the insurance. The second time was in 2015 when my dad took Emily and I to Salem and to the farm. I reached out to a person on ancestry but they never responded. However I found a newspaper clipping about it being sold thirty-five years ago and it’s location. It was in the Carty family for almost one hundred years.

One time on the way home from seeing the grandparents I had the hiccups pretty bad. When my dad said this to me, I fully believed him. It scared me and I didn’t hiccup again the rest of the trip.

The quilt wouldn’t be complete without my dads handwriting and his favorite car. He was obsessed with corvettes all his life. One of his work buddies still has his corvette he owned in the 2000’s.

I was at Arnold park about a week before I started all this embroidery when a guy was smoking a pipe. My dad smoked one for a while when I was in grade school. As for the saying below it, it’s a classic. My sister was having a crises in December and when she called my dad to tell him, he said these words and hung up on her. So now anything we don’t want to deal with we quote our dad.

The next two squares are his brothers and their wives and wedding dates. As well as his parents signature and wedding date. It was awesome to find them in all of the stuff I have. And also my dads phone number when he lived on Cavendish Ln. This was before the area code had to be dialed.

And the very last square. The words are from a card my dad gave to my sister. The car is his first roadster that he had custom built back in the day. My sister loved that car and it was TOD to her if he died. He ended up selling it and getting a new one for a total of four old looking cars. This car was also the picture on his funeral card and what we glued onto his parents tombstone in Salem.

Although this is my sisters quilt I must point out something. My dad was a huge KSHE 95 fan and looking at the shirt I realized his first daughter was born in 1967 (me) and his first granddaughter (Emily) in 1992. That must be why he kept the shirt all these years. Hahaha.

Mole Moral ~ Good things came to those who wait, and this gift is worth more than any amount of money!

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Christmas Angel 2023

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This was my twentieth year of being a Christmas Angel. When it was revealed to me who to do I was very excited because both people lived within ten minutes of me. Usually it’s either one person forty five minutes away or two people in opposite directions. For the first time ever I decided to find the houses in advance. So my dog Charlie and I stopped for a coffee and then off we went. The first house I passed the road (if you could call it that) up. It turned out there are three whole houses with my angel house at the end. No place to turn around, park or hide. So off to the next house which was even worse. At the top of 1/4 mile hill straight up and only room for one car. They were the only house and to even turn around the headlights shine straight into the two triple windows with ZERO window coverings. The house is in the middle of woods so no one can see in. So my options were drive up the hill turn around and then try and sneak to the door or park at the bottom of the hill and walk forever. I was mildly panicked about how to pull this off but I knew I would.

So I called my sister and told her she’s helping me. She lives in the middle of both of them so I would pick her up. I convinced her to do the running and I would be the getaway driver.

Night one, first house was foreshadowing of the entire event. My sister jumps out of car and takes off. As she runs back the lady opens the door and I’m like hurry up. So then I say which one did you take. She said they are both the same. I said no they are different ornaments and the other one is for someone who has passed and theirs is three musketeers. So we thought she was going to have to go back to the door and exchange but luckily she grabbed the right one. This house was a little easier because they always took a while to answer the door except for day 11. The entire family was over and my sister decided to hide between cars to watch them grab it. They all come out looking for her so she just had to make a run for it while they all were yelling and laughing tell us who you are. She managed to trip and fall over her own two feet.

Meanwhile over in the house in the woods. My sister decides we will park about 1/2 way up the hill while she tromps through the woods crunching leaves, getting hit in the face with branches to sneak up the side of the house. Somehow she managed not to fall. The second night she gets out of the car and heard someone say you got the present. Freaks her out and we realize someone is leaving so we go back down the hill wait for them to leave and then sneak back up. Day 3 we had a nice note left on the door. My sister asked what the persons name was and when I told her it turns out she went to high school with her and her x husband had a crush on me in middle school. He was like four years younger than me and I was like gross. Anyway super small world. On my dads birthday we decided to go at ten am and low and behold someone was walking down their road. My sister freaks out and says what do we do. I said smile and wave, keep driving like we are lost. So we make it to turn around and she said I’m dropping this off. Makes it almost to door and swears she is being stared out so throws present on top of tree trunk and runs back.

So on the last day since we were almost caught too many times I decided we would knock and talk to the people. The first people have been married 71 years and don’t look a day over 60. They both thanked us repeatedly and told us it was so much fun and made it the best Christmas ever. The wife had just got off phone with the kids. They had called from the lake to see if they had found out who it was yet. Wife hugged me and whispered thank you for making this so special as it will be our last Christmas most likely. I really hate cancer, only the nice people seem to get it. They also thought my sister was a teenager because she ran so fast.

Our other house remembered my sister and her name. The person walking up their road that day was not known to her. However they did see my sister throw the present on the tree trunk but couldn’t figure out why she threw it. They also thought she was a little kid. She said this really brightened her Christmas as well and thanked me a million times.

My point to all this is, the joy I brought these people by such a fun and simple thing was better than any gift I received. The gifts were small and simple but it made them wonder who it was and what would come the next day. It gave them something to focus on besides the circumstances which caused our paths to cross.

Mole Moral ~ It certainly is better to give than to receive.