I may have written about the word never before and one day I will learn not to use it. It was a Christmas eve at least ten years ago when my husband decided to get me a fire extinguisher for Christmas. I went off (shocking) and told him that was the stupidest gift ever, that I worked in the burn unit and the house could burn to the ground before I would attempt to fight a fire. And this past Tuesday happened. I was attempting to make cracker crack for our work party the next day. Cracker crack is saltines crackers and then you pour melted butter and brown sugar over them. Slap them in the oven for five minutes and then put chocolate chips on top and then freeze. So as I was taking it out of the oven a flame was shooting out of the bottom hole of my gas oven. I then threw the whole RACE and PASS into effect. We have learned this every year at the hospital for fire safety who would have known I could do it without even realizing it.

Rescue-I made sure the kids were all safe

Alarm-I said holy (insert curse words) we have a fire in the oven.

Close-Suppose to close the doors but instead I said open the back door and turn the attic fan on before the smoke detector comes on and wakes up your dad.

Extinguish-I grab flour out of the pantry and throw it on the flames, it gets worse instead of better.

I soon realize I have no choice but to move onto the next acronym knowing full well I will have to eat the I’m NEVER using the fire extinguisher comment.

Pull the pin

Aim the nozzle

Squeeze the trigger

Sweep it back and forth.

And then the fire was out and fire extinguisher dust was all over the cracker crack. And next I had to google if you could use an oven after a fire and how to clean it. And so I vacuumed the extinguisher dust out of the oven and wiped it down. I then put oven cleaner in and was going to clean the next morning. Except work called and had me come in at 8 in the morning so I did it today. After self-cleaning and the smoke detector going off at least the times, the oven is back to normal.

Mole moral-Looks like I will be getting a brand new fire extinguisher for Christmas! Oh and the flour was really corn meal. I grabbed the wrong stuff.

And the next day at work I get a text from Emily saying I am trying to burn the house to the ground as I left the straightener on.