After my nephew died in 2000 my sister in laws friends got together and had a tree planted in Andrew’s memory at Jefferson Barrack’s park. She actually drew me a map so I could find it. Except I had been banned from reading maps by Brian in 1991 for sending us in the wrong direction.
The first time I went, it was by myself. I followed Teresa’s map and could not find the tree. Brian’s parents had been there so I called them. Larry asked me where I was at and said turn around, go here, go there and I found the tree which I took this picture for his page in my family scrapbook.
I visited it a couple more times until my van was stolen and they took the map. After Pokémon Go was released I went to play over there and found the tree no problem. I actually thought it would be cool to make his tree a Pokémon stop but by the time I reached level forty I had stopped going to the park to play.
Fast forward to last year. I put Charlie in the car and say we are going to go to Jefferson Barracks and see Andrew’s tree. I walk the entire path and up, down, all the cross paths (it had changed a lot with little climbing stuff for kids added) but I swear I knew where it was. Four and a half miles later and I cannot find it. I’m convinced they either moved it, or it died. I didn’t like either option.
I saw my father in law a couple days later and asked him if it was still there. Why yes he and Judy had been not too long ago. He said you just get out of the car and walk a little bit and it’s right there. So my next day off I put Charlie in the car and we set off. Four miles later and I still haven’t found it. Just as I am about to get in the car and give up, I think I went left maybe I should go right. Sure enough just a little ways up and it was there. So I dropped a pin on Apple Maps so I wouldn’t have this issue again.
It’s amazing how much this tree has grown in twenty-four years. I didn’t realize it until I looked at the first picture.
A couple weeks ago I decide it’s time to go visit the tree. So I load Charlie up in the car. Somehow I end up in Sylvan Springs Park and cannot find my way over to the walking trail. So I’m like I’ll pull up the pin marking the tree. No pin. So I drive around and remembered the year the Washington Lutheran School picnic was at Sylvan Springs and I rode a spin ride with Kyle and Emily and then promptly threw up.
After driving for twenty minutes and getting nowhere I finally gave up and went to the sculpture park. That evening I remembered I have the all trails app so looked up Jefferson Barracks and got the name of the trail. I put that into the GPS and the next time Chuckie and I went we found it no problem. I also dropped another pin on the map.
If you know someone with no sense of direction be kind to them. It is a terrible way to live. I can manage to get lost even with gps. I think I need to visit the park every six months so I don’t lose the tree location.
Mole Moral ~ No matter how lost you are, eventually you will find your way.
My dad lived about five miles from me for the last twenty years of his life. After his passing I have found myself driving by his house three to four times a week. I have no rational explanation for this except maybe seeing his house makes me remember him.
He died in 2021 and his wife sold the house in 2022 and moved closer to her family. I would meet the new owner Bob within the year. He is a lovely man and I sent him a card afterwards telling him God had chosen the perfect person to own my dad’s house. In the fall of 2022 I drove by the house and noticed Bob had planted a tree in the front yard. I remember getting very excited and thinking this will be the unofficial, official John Carty memorial tree.
Spring arrived and the tree died. I’m not going to lie, I kind of smiled and immediately texted my best friend Meg to tell her. The fall of 2023 I drove by to find another tree in the front yard. I was like yes, an unofficial official John Carty memorial tree but again the the spring of 2024 the tree was dead and I was laughing my head off.
When I first moved into my house in 1990 my dad told me to never plant a tree in the front yard as they are nothing but a pain in the butt. Thinking back he never had a tree in any of his yards. I was sharing with my mother and she said she and my dad planted a tree in the front yard of my childhood home. So I drove by and took a photo of it and showed it to her.
Screenshot
She said that was not the tree but if she still had the photo of me sitting under the tree they planted it would be helpful.
Yes in the fall of 2024 Bob planted a third tree in the front yard. I had decided that if this one dies I would send him a card and tell him to give it up as my dad was blocking him from heaven. All last winter I drove by his house wondering if the tree was going to make it or not.
Around the beginning of April I saw leaves on the new tree. My first thought I was kind of sad it made it because it was fun to think my dad was up in heaven killing trees. However, two seconds later I was like finally an unofficial official John Carty memorial tree.
Last week I went to my hair girls house who just happens to live in same subdivision as my dad (and mom’s) first house. I decided to drive by it (see a pattern here) and I noticed the tree in the front yard had been cut down. I’m thinking it was the storm that blew through a month ago. So after my hair I decide to clean up my scrapbook room and found all the pictures of when I was a little girl. I have no memory of how they got there but I found the picture of my sister and I under the tree in the front yard.
Since the photo is taken from the house looking out into the street I just had to drive back over there to see if it’s the same tree. So I park my car around the corner and walk in front of the house where the stump is and view the street. It’s in the exact same location as the photo and same distance from the street so it has to be the same tree. Luckily I still had the photo of the tree on my phone and now have a picture of the tree my dad planted fifty-seven years ago.
What are the odds that a tree finally starts to grow at the last house my dad lived in and the first tree he planted in the first home he bought died at the same time? Is this a sign that I am totally crazy? Do not answer this question.
Mole Moral ~ Sometimes we do weird things we just can’t explain and then eventually tie them into our story.
It all started with Emily needing to drive her car home from California after driving all her stuff back a month ago for the big move to Chicago next week. Since I didn’t want her to drive alone, I said I’ll fly out and drive back with you. Kayla also wanted to come and then Emily’s best friend from college Julie, decided to join us. It then turned into a four day road trip.
About a month ago I got a text asking if I would go sky diving. My immediate answer no way. Then I watched a bunch of documentary’s about space and the moon landing and decided why not. So Emily was in charge of booking a place. She had some of her patients helping her. The first place we were going to go may be shut down. They have had numerous injuries and deaths. It came to light some of their instructors were not certified. This made me feel real confident about this endeavor. She settled on Skydive Perris in Perris California. She also booked us for eight am yesterday morning.
This was Kayla’s idea and when we got up yesterday morning she decided she wasn’t going. To which Emily and I said oh no you are going. We pulled into the place at 8:02.
We filled out paperwork that basically said if we died we cannot sue them. Again very reassuring. We watched a video about how to do it and then they said see you in about an hour to get ready to jump. We had to wear arm bands so we couldn’t drink in the restaurant. As if that was going to happen. Emily and I both took Dramamine because riding in this little plane screamed let’s not vomit.
The plane
So they came and got us to get us suited up and meet the guys we would be attached to. All of them were super nice and obviously loved their jobs. Because I was very nervous my mouth was in full force. I had all of them cracking up. All three of them said at different times and all together they loved mom. I used Kayla’s nickname of blondie and then told them the story of where it stemmed from. Including how we use to tell her she was mailman’s daughter until the day she was looking out the window to see the mailman and what her dad looked like. She was around two or three. They were dying. I think my favorite line was “If I die, that’s ok I’ll get to see my dad again.” They were cracking up. So we got suited up.
After this it was time to get on the plane. The instructions, follow right behind me and keep your head down when climbing on board. A bench was on each side with seatbelts which we put on until we reached 10,000 feet. There were a bunch of other people including a group that was going to make a circle during free fall. We had talked about my obsession with airplane crash shows so my guy says we can jump out if the plane is going to crash. I said as long as we are high enough up in the air. See I really am smarter than I look.
It seemed like forever before the door to jump out was opened. The big group went out first and the way they all went out it looked like a decompression and they all got sucked out. Two solo guys went next. All the time we are sliding down getting closer and closer. Kayla went first and it was the weirdest thing to watch. She was there one minute and gone the next. I went second. My biggest fear I’d do something wrong and kill us both. It was one two three and out the door we went. He did all the work and after two seconds I thoughtto myself open your eyes and enjoy this so I did. Free fall was crazy but as soon as I was allowed I had my arms and feet out. I was breathing through my mouth which became so dry that once the parachute deployed my tonguefelt six feet thick. I finallygot enough spit going that I could talk. We had quitethe chat on the way down which is one reason I didn’t buy a video or pictures. Julie didn’t go because she had done it before. So when I told her this she said of course you did. My guide was busy turning the sail around and telling me what lakes we were looking at and mountains and things. It was so cool. Emily on the other hand who jumped out last landed first because she was threatening to puke.
Finally it was time to land which was by far the thing I was worried most about. I seriously was more worried about that than the parachute not opening. Several years ago the family went zip lining in Tennessee and my landing has been legendary. To quote my husband, I came in like a bowling ball and nearly took out the people who were suppose to help me stop. The landing for sky diving is hold your feet up and land on your butt. So it comes time and the guy gives me the instructions. I get my feet up and he says higher. I’m thinking I should have either went back to running or started yoga two years ago. Somehow I manage to hit my left foot on the ground and go sliding in the grass for landing. My first thought Emily called it, I broke my ankle.
Notice the grass stains on my shoe. Anyway I moved my foot and thought nope I’m good. The guy was concerned and also amazed at this landing. I said nope I’m fine. I got up and walked over to Emily and smacked her for predicting my insane landing. My guy asked me if I would do it again and I said maybe. It was a lot of fun and so peaceful after free fall.
The landings in which you can hear Emily scream.
Julie took this after picture
and then stated we looked like the power puff girls.
We were cracking up. We couldn’t have planned that any better. The funny thing is my guy picked out my suit and the other two girls picked out theirs. It was such a fun time and all three of us would go again.
Mole Moral ~ Think long and hard before you agree to go on a Mole road trip. One never knows what adventures await you.
Three summers ago my dad had just passed away, Brian was at golf so I decided to watch Americas Got Talent. The last act of the night was a girl called Nightbirde. While talking to the judges she revealed she had cancer and had a two percent chance to live but two percent was better than zero. She also said, “you can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore until you decide to be happy”. I was blown away and then she sang It’s Ok, an original song. She received the golden buzzer from Simon Cowell. I listened to that song on repeat most of the summer as it helped me cope with the loss of my father. Sadly, she became to ill to compete and past away the following February.
Fast forward to this summer when once again Brian was golfing and I turned on America’s Got Talent. This year was a fifty-five year old janitor named Richard Goodall on stage. He shared that he had been a janitor for twenty-three years and sang in the hallways to pass the time while he was cleaning. The kids at school encouraged him to audition. He was shy and nervous till he opened his mouth and sang Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing. I felt like I was transported back in time and was instantly amazed. Heidi Klum gave him a golden buzzer and not only was he crying, I thought he might faint from shock. Of course his girlfriend was not surprised and he revealed it was the first time he was ever on a plane.
Richard is in good health so it has been pure joy for me to follow his journey all the way to the final results later tonight. I don’t think he cares if he wins, he is beyond thrilled to make it to the finals. He is so humble and such a good person. I often wished I had a janitor like him in school. Although I will always remember the lady that took care of the dorm floor. I cannot remember her name but she had red hair. She always talked to us like we were her own children. She was super funny as well.
I have looked forward to tonight all week. Before the results are revealed Richard will be singing with one of the band members from Journey. I’m pretty sure when he stepped foot on that plane, he never envisioned this is where he would be tonight. What an incredible journey for him and his friends and family. If you have never watched this show, you are missing out on a lot of good things and good stories. You can also find his performances as well as Nightbirde’s on YouTube.
Mole Moral ~ Take the risk, follow your dreams, you never know where you will end up or who you will touch along the way.
It’s been two and a half years since my father passed. His wife gave me and my sister all his shirts and flannels. She specifically asked me not to make her a quilt out of his shirts as it would be too painful to look at. She asked me to do something with his ties so I made this pillow.
He had some ugly ties, but that’s ok he’s dead and it won’t hurt his feelings.
I decided I wanted my quilt made out of the flannels and Karen wanted the shirts. So after I cut all the flannels up my sister says to me, you saved one for Sierra right? Remember she wanted one. And in slow motion like Christmas Story the F word went off slowly in my head. So I had to go to plan B. I decided I would make her one as well and do hers first. I finished hers for her graduation from college. If you look at the solid squares you will notice it forms a C for Carty. It resembles well the way my dad makes a C. The middle square has a pocket and in it is one of my dads monogrammed handkerchiefs.
It was probably six months before I finished mine. My goal was to embroider all the Carty’s names and dates since when my father died, the Carty line ended. His dad had five sisters and no brothers. My dads oldest brother adopted a son but he passed at forty-five and did not have any children. His middle brother did not have kids. I still have not done this but here’s my quilt. It is slightly bigger than Sierra’s I have a pocket dead center but have not put a handkerchief in it yet.
After this I put the top to my sisters quilt together. I started hand quilting when my new dog decided to chew the thread. Trying to unwind it was a nightmare and it came off in little pieces. I went to replace it and they didn’t have that color anymore. So it sat in my room forever. About four weeks before Christmas I decided I was finishing it. Back in October I had done a quilt for my uncle and in one of the squares I thought it would be cool to put Love , Eddie in Eddie’s handwriting. I got to thinking if the tattoo artist could get my dads signature on my arm, perhaps there was a way with material. Thanks to the magic of the internet, I found a blog about Sulky stabilizer. Basically you can print from computer onto it. Then you peel it off and it sticks to material. Embroider over the lines and then when the quilt is washed the stabilizer disappears leaving only the thread behind. Originally I had planned for my sister to use washable fabric marker to make this little guy she always drew on her cards to my dad.
However now that I could print from my computer and my dads wife gave me every piece of paper from his work, I had a gold mine of information and creativity. So here is the quilt and then I will give an explanation of each square. This information is for my kids but feel free to continue reading if you are interested.
When my dad was in Shriners having surgery on his legs, he spent a lot of time reading as there was nothing else to do. He was an avid reader for the rest of his life. When I asked for the book Flowers In The Attic, he bought it for me but read it first. He said to me “I’m not sure I should let you read this, it may warp you for life.” I still have the book and now you all know why I’m like the way I am.
My dad became very weird about his birthday. When he turned fifty, my sister snuck over to his house and decorated his yard. When he woke up that morning, he called me and went off on me. So when I called her to tell her he yelled at me, she cancelled our birthday dinner.
We would go out, just the three of us for our birthdays. Eventually it became a nightmare to schedule so we just went for his. We were at Pasta House in Arnold one year when the waiter asked who was ordering first. The following square is what flew out of my sisters mouth. Thank God the waiter kept it on the down low and quietly brought a small piece of cake.
My dad rode a bike all of his life. I remember him riding 50 miles on the Katy trail more than once. My dad wasn’t your normal biker. He never ever wore shorts and always rode in jeans. He did not have a fancy seat either. He gave me his bike a few years back when his knee could no longer take pedaling. My sister got a bike tattoo after he passed. Ho-hum was something he said a lot when we talked on Saturdays. I can still hear him say it.
His applications for top security clearance included every address he had lived at. So I managed to scan them and then line them up so that I could put them on this quilt. They are also in his handwriting.
My dads first birthday after he passed Karen and I planned to go to Salem. We also wanted to find the farm where he grew up. Back in those days his address was John Carty Doss MO. That was not real helpful. I had only been to the farm twice. The first time around the age of ten when the farmhouse burned to the ground. It was believed to be intentionally set by the owners for the insurance. The second time was in 2015 when my dad took Emily and I to Salem and to the farm. I reached out to a person on ancestry but they never responded. However I found a newspaper clipping about it being sold thirty-five years ago and it’s location. It was in the Carty family for almost one hundred years.
One time on the way home from seeing the grandparents I had the hiccups pretty bad. When my dad said this to me, I fully believed him. It scared me and I didn’t hiccup again the rest of the trip.
The quilt wouldn’t be complete without my dads handwriting and his favorite car. He was obsessed with corvettes all his life. One of his work buddies still has his corvette he owned in the 2000’s.
I was at Arnold park about a week before I started all this embroidery when a guy was smokinga pipe. My dad smoked one for a while when I was in grade school. As for the saying below it, it’s a classic. My sister was having a crises in December and when she called my dad to tell him, he said these words and hung up on her. So now anything we don’t want to deal with we quote our dad.
The next two squares are his brothers and their wives and wedding dates. As well as his parents signature and wedding date. It was awesome to find them in all of the stuff I have. And also my dads phone number when he lived on Cavendish Ln. This was before the area code had to be dialed.
And the very last square. The words are from a card my dad gave to my sister. The car is his first roadster that he had custom built back in the day. My sister loved that car and it was TOD to her if he died. He ended up selling it and getting a new one for a total of four old looking cars. This car was also the picture on his funeral card and what we glued onto his parents tombstone in Salem.
Although this is my sisters quilt I must point out something. My dad was a huge KSHE 95 fan and looking at the shirt I realized his first daughter was born in 1967 (me) and his first granddaughter (Emily) in 1992. That must be why he kept the shirt all these years. Hahaha.
Mole Moral ~ Good things came to those who wait, and this gift is worth more than any amount of money!
This was my twentieth year of being a Christmas Angel. When it was revealed to me who to do I was very excited because both people lived within ten minutes of me. Usually it’s either one person forty five minutes away or two people in opposite directions. For the first time ever I decided to find the houses in advance. So my dog Charlie and I stopped for a coffee and then off we went. The first house I passed the road (if you could call it that) up. It turned out there are three whole houses with my angel house at the end. No place to turn around, park or hide. So off to the next house which was even worse. At the top of 1/4 mile hill straight up and only room for one car. They were the only house and to even turn around the headlights shine straight into the two triple windows with ZERO window coverings. The house is in the middle of woods so no one can see in. So my options were drive up the hill turn around and then try and sneak to the door or park at the bottom of the hill and walk forever. I was mildly panicked about how to pull this off but I knew I would.
So I called my sister and told her she’s helping me. She lives in the middle of both of them so I would pick her up. I convinced her to do the running and I would be the getaway driver.
Night one, first house was foreshadowing of the entire event. My sister jumps out of car and takes off. As she runs back the lady opens the door and I’m like hurry up. So then I say which one did you take. She said they are both the same. I said no they are different ornaments and the other one is for someone who has passed and theirs is three musketeers. So we thought she was going to have to go back to the door and exchange but luckily she grabbed the right one. This house was a little easier because they always took a while to answer the door except for day 11. The entire family was over and my sister decided to hide between cars to watch them grab it. They all come out looking for her so she just had to make a run for it while they all were yelling and laughing tell us who you are. She managed to trip and fall over her own two feet.
Meanwhile over in the house in the woods. My sister decides we will park about 1/2 way up the hill while she tromps through the woods crunching leaves, getting hit in the face with branches to sneak up the side of the house. Somehow she managed not to fall. The second night she gets out of the car and heard someone say you got the present. Freaks her out and we realize someone is leaving so we go back down the hill wait for them to leave and then sneak back up. Day 3 we had a nice note left on the door. My sister asked what the persons name was and when I told her it turns out she went to high school with her and her x husband had a crush on me in middle school. He was like four years younger than me and I was like gross. Anyway super small world. On my dads birthday we decided to go at ten am and low and behold someone was walking down their road. My sister freaks out and says what do we do. I said smile and wave, keep driving like we are lost. So we make it to turn around and she said I’m dropping this off. Makes it almost to door and swears she is being stared out so throws present on top of tree trunk and runs back.
So on the last day since we were almost caught too many times I decided we would knock and talk to the people. The first people have been married 71 years and don’t look a day over 60. They both thanked us repeatedly and told us it was so much fun and made it the best Christmas ever. The wife had just got off phone with the kids. They had called from the lake to see if they had found out who it was yet. Wife hugged me and whispered thank you for making this so special as it will be our last Christmas most likely. I really hate cancer, only the nice people seem to get it. They also thought my sister was a teenager because she ran so fast.
Our other house remembered my sister and her name. The person walking up their road that day was not known to her. However they did see my sister throw the present on the tree trunk but couldn’t figure out why she threw it. They also thought she was a little kid. She said this really brightened her Christmas as well and thanked me a million times.
My point to all this is, the joy I brought these people by such a fun and simple thing was better than any gift I received. The gifts were small and simple but it made them wonder who it was and what would come the next day. It gave them something to focus on besides the circumstances which caused our paths to cross.
Mole Moral ~ It certainly is better to give than to receive.
Later in the month it will be two years since my fathers passing. I have been doing well for quiet a while now until yesterday. It was my birthday and my mom wrote something really nice on my Facebook wall that included my father. I cried off and on at work the rest of the day. So when I got to my car I listened to the voicemail he left on my birthday in 2019. Not sure why I didn’t answer the phone that year as I was on my sabbatical from work. But it cracked me up, just like it did when he first left it.
We talked about this a lot at Grief Share. How sometimes it just hits when you least expect it. So I embraced it and just cried. Brian gave me orange roses which are gorgeous. Then a bottle of his favorite wine. Like seriously ruin a great gift but I think it’s because he was afraid I’d hate the roses or something. He’s one of the most bizarre gift givers I have ever met.
Allyson gave me my gift today. And bam grief back again. She took ceramics this year in college and made me this.
It’s Isla with her weird non eye and all. It looks so much like her. She went with me to put Isla down last October. I never mentioned it on social media because it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. She was extremely aggressive and most likely had rage syndrome. She had bit both Allyson and Kayla for no reason. As well as attacked Moonie many many times. I have said all my life I would not have a dog that bit people. It’s just too dangerous. So we sent Isla to heaven with a message for my dad if she can talk. The vet tech about flipped out but Dr. Smith told her it was the truth.
So I’m sad all over again today. But I tell myself dogs will be in heaven even though Pastor Kevin told me many moons ago Jesus didn’t die to save dogs. Obviously he’s a dog hater.
Mole Moral ~ I learned a long time ago, you don’t get over death, you just learn to live with it.
My life will always be a comedy of errors and todays post will confirm this.
Yesterday Brian was over at my moms house assessing what needed to be moved and a plan on how to do it. Somehow she managed to trip over a lamp cord and started to fall. He caught her before she totally hit the floor but she managed to bend her foot backwards. This morning when I got a message it still hurt and she thought it could be broken I decided to take her to urgent care. This would confirm no breaks and she could stop worrying.
The nurse practitioner was a little snippy and no lie my mom flipped her off when she left the room. She returned after the X-ray with a total change in attitude and informed us mom had three bones broken in her foot and they needed to consult orthopedics to determine if she needed to be seen now. She comes back a short time later and says she can see them this week but she needs a splint and no weight bearing on that foot. Hopping around on one foot with a walker is not an option. Even I would veto that so I reach out to my sister to see if she has a wheelchair and she does. So mom and I make plans to swing by her apartment storage unit to pick up walker (Brian had just put the stupid thing in there the day before) then to my sisters house for the wheelchair and then back to her house.
She realizes she has no cigs so I agree to stop at gas station. She then smoked one while I’m fetching the walker. I start the car to leave and it will not start. So I have to call Brian who is currently at my moms house. He is busy power washing her siding to get her house ready to sell. Luckily he was just finishing up. So he has to drive to my moms apartment to jump start me. My mom cannot get out of the car because she can’t put any weight on her foot. So my car starts up and he tells me not to turn it off. Yeah duh!
We fetch the wheelchair and make it to her house. Luckily she never took the wheelchair ramp down from when she broke her ankle back in 2010. We barely made it in the door because the wheel got stuck on the entryway. By this time Kayla had arrived to go to the store and pack some things up. So I dropped her off and came home.
Brian backs my car out of the garage and looks at the battery. He then took old one out and bought a new one. I am so thankful he can fix anything.
Sometime back when my mom was still at rehab my sisters engine blew in her car. It’s a known issue with that vehicle but since there is no recall she was basically screwed. It would be a year wait for a new engine or she could spend four thousand dollars for a used one with no guarantee it wouldn’t do the same thing. She had been using my moms car during this time but my mom is ready to drive again so Karen has been looking for a car.
She found a used Nissan Morano which both she and our dad had owned back in the day. It only had 107,000 miles on it and was located in Rolla. Now Rolla is thirty minutes from Salem where our father grew up. I just knew that this was the car. So Brian says I guess you two bimbos need me to come with you. We were planning to go to Salem after to make sure the two hot wheels were still glued onto our grandparents headstone. Once I realized if we bought the car he could drive mine home, I was like yes come with us.
Karen called to make sure it was still there. She swore the person on the phone sounded like Flo from the show Alice (think Mel, kiss my grits). So we all head to Rolla. We pull up and it’s like a mom and pop shop next door to the owners house. The person that answered the phone was a shy timid guy who was super nice. Karen and Brian test drove it and Brian says it’s a good deal. So we talk about how to pay. They got burned by a personal check but the banks are closed for Christmas Holiday so I cannot get one. (Side note, my mom is paying me back and Karen is paying my mom). So my sister says how about if we give you five hundred cash and the rest a check. He has to check with his boss and get car inspected so we go into Rolla for lunch.
The guy calls as we are finishing lunch and agrees to the deal. So I say to Brian how much cash do you have on you. He starts counting out his money. He has exactly 480 and Karen has twenty so we don’t have to deal with ATM. In the meantime this dude is watching the entire scene basically giving him the look of you are paying that much money for two old beaters, they must be really good. Bahahaha
So when we return to sign the deal Karen notices a picture on the wall. It looks almost exactly like my dads first roadster including being red. Then she sees another with four corvettes one of which looks just like my tattoo on my arm. I was like I knew dad lead us to this car. As we were heading over to Salem underneath the sticker that said the year was a date written in white. Karen says what the hell is that. I said probably the date they got the car. Karen look at it. It was 12/21 which is our fathers birthday. He would have been eighty-one this year.
Mole Moral ~ Signs are everywhere. Often we are too busy to notice, slow down and pay attention.
If one has read my previous blog, they know that my mom was in the hospital for thirty-five days and then spent another two weeks at a rehab facility. I should have written this first but the trip home was too much of a comedy not to post first.
Briefly my mom had a big surgery to move her stomach out of her chest back into her abdomen. Leave it to her to experience a complication that occurs one percent of the time. But after five days with out of control pain I forced her to go to the ER. She was running a temp and her heart rate was in the 120’s. The ER did a CT and lab work while out in waiting room. Because I have access to her my chart I saw her WBC was 20 so I knew she was not going home. She got tired of waiting and wanted to leave. I said nope, not happening. Once we got to a room and the ER doc came in looking freaked out about CT results I knew my waiting room assessment was spot on. I just had no idea that the on call surgeon assisted with my moms surgery and said she needed to be transferred to SLUH or St Mary’s because only they had the equipment to do what he needed to do surgically. When she had a bed at SLUH and was in their ER in less than three hours I knew it was life or death. I have never known SLUH to have open icu bed for transfers (at least in my endoscopy world).
My mom had surgery that day and would have another within four or five more days. She and I truly believe the only reason she survived (she’s no spring chicken at 78) is because of the outstanding care she received at SLUH. Her surgeon had just arrived three weeks prior as the new chief of cardio thoracic surgery. Later he would tell me he treated this complication often and people were sent to him from all over the state. So she received excellent care surgery wise. However, it was the above and beyond nursing care she received that was instrumental in her recovery.
She spent the first week in ICU and those nurses were so incredibly kind, smart and attentive it made me want to leave endoscopy and work there. No worries I reminded myself why I left critical care in 2000 and how two months of it at the beginning of Covid was enough for me.
She was then moved to a regular floor. There were times when I know those nurses were working short and yet they never used it as an excuse and continued to act like my mom was their only patient. And no it was not because I was there all the time (I wasn’t) or calling them constantly (I didn’t. I still had access to her my chart so I followed her labs daily without bugging the nurses). It’s just how they are.
Now my mom was a bit of a PIA about her pillows. I swear she had every spare pillow on the floor in her bed. Well they decided my mom was like the princess and the pea. Since she nicknames people all the time they started calling her the pea princess. We all got such a kick out of it. When her chest tube came out and her esophageal stents came out I knew her time at SLUH was coming to an end. So I started thinking about a thank you gift. It is well known I can bake but I thought nurses always get food and it just makes us fat. Flowers are pretty but they die. Then the perfect idea came to me and I ran with it.
Every nurse needs a good black ink pen. And because my mom is snarky and funny, I decided on snarky nurse pens. But because not all of her nurses were snarky, I also did some custom ones that said “thank you from the pea princess”. My mom about started crying when I ran the idea by her. She loved it. I found the picture on the internet and Allyson helped me remove the background. I took it up on a weekend after she was discharged because the weekend charge nurse was phenomenal. Both my mother and sister also really liked her as well.
On the ride home from rehab just one week ago my mom thought she was going to need to buy a wheelchair. I went along with her while in my head thinking she was crazy. Yesterday we went to primary to get her blood pressure straightened out. (Rehab messed with her medicine till she was running 90’s over 50’s and so dizzy she couldn’t hardly walk with walker). The only time she used the walker that day was to see him. She’s all over the house without it. He said no more blood pressure medicine for now. A week without it and she was 120/70. He said she’s lost so much weight she may no longer need it. So my favorite saying “will continue to monitor”.
My mom was convinced no one would remember her. The fact that it’s a rarity to have a patient in the hospital for thirty five days alone is enough. But couple it with the fact she could have easily died and the fact she rarely asked for anything and was so freaking funny she will be remembered by some forever. When she left for rehab her nurse called me to tell me and said she (the nurse) cried when my mom left. A couple days ago someone called to set up home PT and said I never took care of you but I heard all about you. She left an impression on many that she will never know this side of heaven.
Mole Moral ~ So often people focus on the negative and complaining. It’s a choice to recognize the good and amazing. Focus on that and let those know how much you appreciate them.
LifeWithMoles 