A Hunkins’ Wedding

Brian has been part of a golf league on Monday nights for at least fifteen or so years. He can’t remember when he started and I sure can’t remember but it seems like forever. The guy that is in charge of the league is Tom Hunkins and I have liked him since the day I met him. He is super funny and always loves to aggravate me. Somehow I manage to fall for the same stupid joke. He will ask me if I have any boyfriends and well you know me I have a whole list of boyfriends so when I say yes, he puts his arm around me and tells me I need a man friend. Yesterday we attended our second Hunkins’ wedding. The first I had remembered was his daughter Emily and I told him wasn’t it in February and on a bad luck day but I can’t remember the date. As soon as he said Friday the thirteenth then I remembered. I think he was kind of impressed I remembered the month. I seem to have gift for remembering crazy things like that but can’t keep day-to-day life straight. Anyway we received the invitation months ago and his son was marrying another dude. At first this presented a bit of a dilemma for me because I’m old as dirt and was raised in different times.

When I was a kid my aunt was gay (that’s what we called it back then so please do not political correct me). We had to keep this a secret because my mom was worried if other people knew, they would not allow their kids to associate with me. I remember my aunt at one time did marry another woman (however that worked back in the day) but I don’t think my mother attended. I cannot remember even though I still remember the gals name. They eventually divorced as well. My aunt was also an alcoholic so probably twenty-five years ago, she found Jesus, quit drinking and basically turned celibate. The guy I dated my senior year in high school came out in college. He was not careful and ended up with HIV and passed from AIDS. Actually quite a few of the guys I dated, ended up coming out so I have always told Brian he wouldn’t leave me for another woman, but a man. He has never found this as funny as I do.

With the introduction of the internet and social media things have really come to the forefront on this. Marriage between same-sex has been legalized. Honestly, I have never had an issue with that but I am old school in the fact I don’t think a church should be forced to married same sex just because it’s legal. These two were going to get married at River City Casino so that solved that issue for me. (As we know, it’s all about me.) Then came the struggle do we go to the ceremony or just the reception. It came down to the day before when I finally decided we would go to the ceremony as well. I had no clue what to expect or how things would be done. I was pleasantly blown away.

For starters, they had twenty people in their wedding party. I can honestly say back when Brian and I married I don’t think we had twenty people that we were close enough to have stand up with us. And each of them chose both girls and boys to represent them. So when it came time for the procession or whatever it’s called, the music started and I knew I made the right decision. Tommy (Tom’s son) has three sisters and they all walked down together arm in arm. They had cute little cocktail dresses and looked fabulous. The rest of the party was spiffy too. One guy had on like dark blue jeans and suit coat and I immediately thought of Howard from The Big BangTheory. And then the grooms walked into together and my first thought “Holy smokes, they are both hot as hell” and then “go figure”. That’s my old school, stereotypical, judgmental, racist, old lady self coming out. I’m trying to work on this.

I expected the ceremony to be short and simple but instead we got a bit of a non church sermon. The guy that married them was interesting but at one point i was thinking please just shut up so we can get on to the good part, the vows. They wrote their own and Tommy’s was mind-blowing. He actually said he thought he would marry a trophy wife and live out his life that way. What’s really sad about that is, people did this all the time. It would be difficult enough knowing you are “not normal” (although normal is just a setting on a washing machine) but then to live a lie has to be awful. So I am glad that he doesn’t have to live like that and can be who I know God created him to be. And this leads to the reception and how my intense like for Tom Hunkins turned to pure love.

Tom’s family is very strong catholics. Brian told me quite a few refused to attend. I find this sad because refusing to come isn’t going to change Tommy’s sexual orientation. However I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for a heterosexual man to come to grips that his son is not. I don’t know how long it to Tom to process this but he has embraced it in a way that makes Jesus proud. I mean if Jesus (God) feels such emotion. His speech was fabulous and he talked about how after he married his three daughters off he thought he was out of the woods for covering weddings. Then Tommy came along and changed that mindset. He wrote a song to My Boyfriends Back and changed it to My Boyfriend Zach. His sister’s were the back up singers and although none of them would ever make it on American Idol, it was one of  the sweetest most thoughtful things I have every witnessed. It made me wish I was part of the Hunkins’ family.

Brian and I had a very good time and didn’t get home until 3:00 in the morning. We took our first Uber ride and in true Shleprock fashion the first driver could not locate us and cancelled. So we had to order a second one. Well Marvin had his act together and knew exactly where we were. We made it safely home and a twenty-seven dollar fare was way cheaper than a DUI and all the aggravation that entails. The hotel wanted 189 before tax for a room. Now that is outrageous for a hotel in Lemay when you are as tight with money as Brian and I are. I came up with the Uber idea at the same time I decided we should go to the ceremony. Most of the time I am smarter than I look.

I am really glad we went. It changed a lot of my mindset and made me realize and think about things that had never occurred to me. I also had a nice conversations with Tom and actually got to tell him he needs a Woman friend. It was perfect and beautiful.


Mole Moral ~ If we could only love others the way Jesus did instead of being judgmental holier than thou assholes, the world would be a much better place. Heck it would represent Heaven.

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