Some time ago at work someone asked me about the new rules for PCA pumps and where I saw it at. So I told the nurse buddy of mine where to go to find it. It was right where I said it was and she looked at me and said “you are smarter than you look!” I cracked up and my nurse buddies and I have been using this for a while now. Here are a few examples.

Emily texts me about PT check outs today and said she couldn’t find the femoral pulse. I reply its hard to find and you have to push really hard. She responded my teacher said the same thing. I said that’s because I’m smarter than I look.

The recovery room called me to tell me that they had changed pain medication to 4mg of Dilaudid IVP. I said are you sure the doctor didn’t mean either .4mg of Dilaudid or 4mg of morphine? “No” she says, she read it back twice to the doctor and he agreed. So I said to her I will call him when the patient arrives to the floor because there is no way anyone would give that amount. I mean the max I (the one with 10 years burn unit experience) would give is 1mg of dilaudid. So after I relay this to my co-workers of the day, I get a call back saying that said nurse called the doctor back and I was indeed right. Of course I was because I am smarter than I look.

I get a text message picture from a friend of her child with angry hives. I respond those may need steroids. She then tells me that’s exactly what her nurse practitioner friend said. I had to say it, I am smarter than I look.

I had a lot of fun with the new GYN resident whose name happens to be Paul Dixon. I know a guy with the same name from South Africa. I will have to tell that story at another time. I was talking about my sister-in-law and how she can get Best Buy to drop the price down and I said she should have been a Jew. Then I say to him oh if you are Jewish, I didn’t mean to offend you. He said no worries he’s Catholic. I said oh great I am non denominational but everyone else at the nurses station was Catholic. I told him I was a rebel. This was after I had introduced myself and said I’ve been a nurse since Jesus was a small boy so if you have any questions I should know the answer. So he asked me where the bathroom was. I pointed to it and said I know where every bathroom in St. Louis is. Followed by I had Dr. Veronikis surgery three years ago, so it’s no longer an issue. I am sure that by the time he left he was convinced I was crazy. Hence back to the living up to my nickname CR.

One more shift of working and then I am off for four days. It will be rest my swollen foot and even use ice. I am getting adventurous with the ice.

Finally July 1 has arrived. Not only was it my first day back to work, it was also new OB/GYN residents day. Always a fun and challenging time. I cannot imagine having one week orientation and then thrown into hospital life and expected to know everything. I decided that since I have been a nurse since Jesus was a small boy, that I will be a resource to the new kids this year. I met the day and night gyn first year. Both seem nice and so young. But I am not old! Hahaha.

So I looked at the census last night and said oh five patients away from needing me, I won’t be working till 3. As soon as I said that to Meg, I said I just screwed myself. And sure enough when I called at 10 to see if I was needed charge nurse said yes come on in. I was excited to go in and take new surgeries but was unsure how my foot would hold up. The surgeries were great and I really enjoyed the patents today. However, my foot within two hours was saying you should have listened to Dr. Anderson and took another two weeks off. I still cannot figure out how a couple people were back at work at three weeks. Even if I wore my boot, I would not have been able to stand it last week. It makes me feel like a big old baby but then I think I am too hard on myself. So I came home took 1/2 a pain pill and slapped ice on it. I am so non compliant with ice that using it speaks volumes!

I was talking about nursing boards at the desk. I said when did they start calling it NCLEX instead of state boards. When I graduated NCLEX was a voluntary class you could take to study for boards. It was $200 back in 1988 and I opted to skip it and study on my own. So one of my co-workers looked at me and said when it went to computer it was changed to NCLEX because thats the program that administers it. I asked when was that. She looked at me and said when Jesus became a young adult. I cracked up laughing. I am not sure which is worse, they changed the name or the fact I didn’t realize it until this year when Emily was telling me that her friend Kaitlin had taken NCLEX.

I am scheduled the next two days. If they call me off from 11-3 I will not complain. If they need me I will tell my foot to FOAG and work. It was really nice to be out of the house today!

It all started way back in 1986 (that’s 28 years ago) when I had my very first nursing clinicals. We spent the last month of the first year of nursing school at a nursing home. It was not my calling. I cried every single day and begged my mother to let me quit. I was told at my evaluation that I relied to heavily on my peers and needed to stop asking for help. Yep in true CR (crazy Rachel) fashion, I took that to the extreme. In the present day I have to be drowning before I ask for help and I usually end up barking at my co-workers. I always apologize for my behavior once I have caught up and can breath again. Luckily for the girls I work with this doesn’t happen very often. However, when it does I hate it! And before I forgot my mother refused to let me quit. She told me to start my second year where clincials would be at the hospital and if I still hated it, then I could quit. She is such a wise woman! Obviously I loved it since I am still working in a hospital many years later.

Today I took Allyson to Target to buy a nintendo 3DS. She had been saving her money since Christmas and finally was about ten dollars short. Since she has been waiting on me for the past two weeks, I figured I could front her ten bucks. Well I can drive with this stupid foot but I have to put my boot on to get out of the car. I was highly distracted putting my boot on. They did not have the model she wanted so off to gamestop we were going to go. However, we got to the car and I saw I had locked my keys in the car. Rather than ask anyone for help, I tell her we can walk home and use Kayla’s car. So yes I walked a mile today in my boot. OMG it was so awesome to be outside walking in the weather. If I only had my headphones I could have listened to my jammin jesus music and pretended I wasn’t injured. I was about halfway home when it dawned on my two of my neighbors were home and they would have gotten my spare key and brought it to me. I did call my sister to see if she could later drive me back to Target to get my car. Ok I wasn’t quite stupid enough to walk two miles. I was telling my wise mother how nice this walk was. She said call me in the morning and let me know how bad your foot hurts. It did not swell and still really doesn’t hurt. In my defense after gamestop I have stayed on the couch the rest of the day messing with this site.

Before I ever took off from Target another two of my stitches came unknotted and fell out. I know have lost 3 of 6. At this rate, come Thursday at my appointment there will not be any stitches left to remove. The incision looks really good but my foot is still really bruised. I just want to be healed so I can go back to work. I really miss my job and I admire all the stay at home moms. That is something I could never do!