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The Mole year 2016 review

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The last five weeks have been very stressful so I thought I would write out what happened during the rest of the year to verify that it all balanced out.

January~ Emily and I took a trip to visit Uncle Larry and to see Cousin Eddie. We flew Southwest and since Emily had flown a “real airline” with her friend Izy, she complained about layovers and having to fight for a seat. We rented a car and ate at a diner where she could have chicken and waffles. She loved it!

February~I conned Emily into running another half marathon with me. She swore after Disneyland she was never going to run one again. I made her a Dorothy running costume and myself a flying monkey and we beat her previous time. Of course she took off ahead of me so she could finish a few seconds faster. We also visited the Wizard of Oz museum which was really interesting and the room we stayed in at the motel was decked out in wizard of oz.

March~Kayla and I went to visit Missouri State in Springfield to see if that’s where she wanted to attend college. She loved it but would later drag me to University of Central Missouri and then take forever to finally decide to go to Missouri State. She waited so long and we had an issue with her meningitis shot that she ended up getting a dorm room to herself. She was quite upset because she thought a roommate would be someone to do everything with and explore campus.

April~Emily received her white coat for Physical Therapy. This meant she was ready to start clinical’s in the summer. No one ever wears their white coat but they all have one. Brian and Allyson did not get the memo to wear nice clothes and they showed up in jeans. But the rest of us looked amazing. I also ran my first full marathon since my foot surgery. I shorted myself two weeks of training and wanted to die by the time it was finished. It started raining for about two miles and was a terrible experience.

May~This was the month I decided to try low carb/high fat diet. It worked great except for when it came to running. I did a half marathon in Branson Missouri with my friend Laura and I again wanted to die about half way through. I certainly was not hungry eating this way but I couldn’t sustain long runs so had to ditch that for the wind.

June~Kayla and I went on a 5 day cruise. We only had two scheduled stops and the second stop was cancelled due to high winds and waves or something. We did get to swim with stingrays but totally missed snorkeling. So instead we had mother daughter pictures taken and had a lot of fun with the photographer. I ended up spending way too much money on the pictures but it was worth it. Emily was in Oklahoma for clincials so I went and saw her and also got to see Rob Bell in person. He was awesome as always and totally worth the seven hour drive. Allyson really enjoyed stopping by the precious moments chapel on the way home.

July~ While the family was at the lake I remembered I had stated four years ago I wanted to run fifty miles by my fiftieth birthday which was the following May. I spent an afternoon researching how to train for such an event. Soleil was finally starting to recover from her bladder infection. My car did not pass inspection so after eleven years and 184,000 miles I had to say good-bye to the VUE. Big Stuf was probably the best camp since the first year I attended. All the speakers were fabulous and I really enjoyed them.

August~Emily’s guinea pig died under my care. We put him in the freezer until she could return from Oklahoma for a proper burial. Kayla moved to Missouri State and Allyson started her sophomore year. The house was quiet and peaceful again.

September~My favorite doctor left Mercy and I still miss him. I went on a two week cruise with my mom. I visited Mercy Dublin and saw where it all started back in the 1800’s. It was cool to walk down Baggot street. I also ran a full marathon on the cruise ship.

October~I ran my 50K in preparation for the fifty mile race in the end of April. I drug Emily and Allyson along as my crew. It was a 0.8 mile loop and I did like 36 laps. I finished much faster than I had hoped but wasn’t too sure if I really wanted to pound out fifty miles. However I had thrown down the gauntlet so there was no turning back.

November~My brother in law had a stroke on Black Friday. I learned that there really is a difference between Mercy and other hospitals. There really is something to the Mercy spirit that we are evaluated on each year. It also reinforced why I have driven by St. Anthony’s for the past twenty-eight years and would never ever work there.

December~We had a nice Christmas and I received great running pants from the husband. I lost my favorite black pair on the cruise. I haven’t seen them since I returned home. I have started fifty mile training and still wonder why I said that.

 

Mole Moral~If 2017 is half as crazy as 2016 bring it on!

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A Mole Christmas Poem

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Twas the night before Christmas and all the Moles were wide awake.

Well except for dad Mole who was in bed just before ten.

Emily was scrapbooking ,while Kayla was playing on her phone

and Allyson was gaming on her computer, and I mom Mole was writing this blog.

Now Santa was waiting for the freaks to go to bed.

Mom Mole yelled “you freaks go to bed so Santa can come.”

They all laughed and got louder and louder and louder.

Then dad Mole awoke from his sleep and said,

That’s it, everyone to bed right this minute.

As usual no one listened but they did become quiet.

Eventually they all fell asleep and Santa arrived.

However he tripped and fell over the dirt in the floor

Allyson had refused to sweep the morning before.

She said there was no reason to clean because

only family was coming and why should they care.

Now Santa’s in the hospital with a broken leg

And no more presents were delivered that day.

 

Mole Moral ~ Always clean the house before company arrives,

it may just be family but a visitor could show up.

It would be embarrassing  if they too became injured,

from dirt on the floor.

 

 

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The Flip Side of a Creative Mom

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Finally after having the tree up for a week, I managed to put the ornaments on. Don’t judge me, I really am not a Christmas person. Although once I finally drag the ornaments out, I do enjoy all the memories behind them. I came across my favorite for this year and it belongs to Kayla. Every year I give each girl and my nieces and nephews an ornament that relates in some way to the previous year.

Last year Kayla got pulled over for speeding on the way to Kansas City to visit Emily. The cop made her get out of the car and sit in his car. Yes this freaked me out after she told me but there was nothing I could do about it. He asked her if she had  smoked pot. She said yes once but it was a year ago. He kept grilling her about smoking and if she had, to just tell him and they could work something out. She hadn’t smoked so she refused so he asked if he could search her car. She said sure. He found nothing and looked at her and told her she needed to vacuum her floorboards. He gave her a speeding ticket and left. It was only after this that she and Dominic realized she had passed a skunk and had skunk smell in her car. I am sure the cop thought she was smoking skunk buds.

So last year this was the ornament she opened.

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Mole Moral ~ If you are going to get caught speeding, you will remember it forever because your mother is a creative nut job!

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Harry Potter and the Nursing Students

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It’s been quite a while since the last time I actually wrote a blog. Here is a list of my reasons/excuses.

  1. Post fifty kilometer run depression.
  2. Post cruise depression.
  3. Watching all eleven seasons of Bones on Netflix in seven weeks time.
  4. The election insanity on Facebook which I cannot tolerate.

I have certainly had plenty of material, I just have not been able to motivate myself to write anything until today. A while back I posted on Facebook I had the best day ever and got a hug from Harry Potter. What no one besides those that work on Women’s Health knew was that Harry Potter is actually a nursing student named Josh who resembles Harry. He told me one day he wears contacts instead of glasses for that reason.

We have had nursing students on our unit over the years but I rarely interacted with them. Here is my list of reasons.

  1. I usually don’t start until eleven in the morning and by then most clinical’s are close to over.
  2. Students make me nervous because in my lack of self-confidence paranoid self I am convinced they will see that I am a terrible nurse.
  3. I do not follow protocol or do things the “correct textbook way” and therefore feel I have zero business interacting with students or new nurses.
  4. I feel I do no teach well and tend to do things without really explaining them because I have been doing it forever.

One of our night shift nurses was their clinical instructor and since I knew her, it helped me come out of my paranoid shell. Also this group of kids (I am so old, I could have been any one of their mothers) were the most go-getter group I have ever met. By this I mean, say a patient needed an IV started-instead of running and hiding (like I do) they would all fight over who would get to try. I am pretty sure one of the two guy students we had even cathertized one of our patients. It always seems weird to us but in the rest of the hospital male nurses take care of women all of the time. After all when I was just 15 I had my appendix out and I had a male nurse. His name was Joe and he is the reason I ended up becoming a nurse. This was back in 1983 when male nurses were very rare.

We were fairly busy on the Wednesday’s they were on the unit and I worked at least two or three twelve-hour shifts and the poor kids got stuck with me as having the patient they were assigned to. They saved my skin two different shifts. If they had not been there I would have been drowning in a sea of medication and craziness. So since they helped me I shared a lot of my experience and crazy stories from days gone by. I thought they may have enjoyed it but being paranoid and terrible self-esteem I wasn’t exactly sure.

One day Josh asked me if a drank in nursing school. I said, “no I have never been an alcohol person. He looked over at the girls like ha ha, not every one has to drink. So then I say “Wait a minute, I did smoke during nursing school, does that make you feel better.” The girls said heck yes. I then proceeded to tell them about quitting for 13 years, starting up for another four and quitting ever since. I don’t think I was at school a week before I found out my soon to be best friends Gena and Leah were sneaking off to the parking lot smoking. They didn’t want me to know because they thought I would get mad. I was like heck no give me a cigarette and so it began.

So when there last day of clinical’s came our census was fairly high so I asked them to put me on a twelve again. I gave them all a card with CR’s words of wisdom and a QT card. That way the drinkers could purchase alcohol, the smokers could purchase cigs, and the rest soda, junk food or gas. So that is how I ended up getting a hug from Harry Potter. They ended up giving me a really nice Starbucks cup and then a card which was the best gift ever. Apparently my crazy stories and my non text-book techniques turned out to be quite helpful. Words cannot express how much I enjoyed each and every one of these kids. I am not sure there will ever be another clinical group as amazing as they were.

 

Mole Moral ~ Nursing school is just as ignorant and difficult today as it was thirty years ago. I am convinced the goal is to make one as miserable as possible with the goal to weed out the weak!

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My First Ultra Marathon

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I committed to doing a 50K back in August and at that time the race was going to be held in Derby Kansas on a flat 5 mile loop. I remember thinking great six times around and I am finished and flat is awesome since I run on the side of a highway up and down hills. About two weeks before the race, I got a notification it had been moved to Wichita which was actually about twenty minutes closer which was fine. It was only right before I left that I was told it was a small race with a 0.86 mile loop to run around. WOW!

Emily got help up in clinical’s so I put where we were going into the phone to discover we would make it right on time. At exactly one minute to seven we arrived at our destination which was not the park, but the hotel we were staying at. Of course I put the hotel address in and not the park. The park was eight minutes away so I said lets run over there just in case they are still there. Yes, the girl coordinating it was still there and informed me there were exactly nine runners participating and I looked at the course. Emily started laughing and I was thinking, only me.

The shirt was really super nice so I figured the belt buckle would be too. Apparently ultramarathon’s you get a belt buckle instead of a medal. I can work with that. So we went and checked into the hotel, went out to eat and then went to bed. We arrived the next day and met all eight other runners. There was a father and his eleven year old son doing the full-marathon, three of us doing the 50K, two doing the 50 mile and two doing the 100 mile. I was talking to the girl who was doing the 50K with me, she had just done an iron-man and ran the entire marathon portion. She was all nervous about the 50K and I was thinking girl you have this in the bag. The girl in charge asked me if I wanted to switch out my bib for an ankle one. I said heck yes and felt that would be less annoying. I then felt like I was on house arrest.

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Because of the short loop, everyone started at a different starting point and I was informed I would be doing 36 loops. Ultra’s are run totally different from regular races. First of all, it is not about speed and how fast you can go. It’s not about running through the drinking stops and getting mad about the people who stop and drink. They had an entire spread at the shelter with food and drinks. The race supporters said if we needed anything they didn’t have they would go and get it for us. So when it’s time to eat, people stopped in and spent a few minutes, it wasn’t shove the food in your mouth while running as fast as you can.

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At the beginning everyone was passing me and I had to remind myself this is not a competition and run/walk the way you have trained for the past three months. So off I went and I was faster than I thought i would be but then again I was running on flat and I hadn’t really run much the entire summer because I didn’t want to get injured and get knocked out of this event. It was super windy and after the race people were complaining about it. I wish you could have seen the look on everyone’s face when I told them I did my 26 mile run on the cruise ship in the middle of the storm. See everything works out for a reason.  I eat and drink every five miles so that was one reward to keep me going, I told myself at mile 10, 21 and 26 I would text people to tell them where I was at. I actually did not hit the 20 mile wall like I did in both training runs. I remember when my Nike guy said 13 miles left thinking oh that’s a half marathon, a piece of cake, you got this. Now the father and the son running the marathon passed me at least three or four times. However, they made the rookie mistake and started out way too fast and I ended up finishing 26 miles before them. The kid was cute as heck and when they were driving off he yelled at me out the window, good job, keep it up. It was when I had five miles left that i texted Emily and told her if she didn’t arrive soon with Gatorade I was going to die. They had a drink called Heed which in my delusional state I swore said Hemp. It was electrolyte based (I think) but no sugar. Emily and Allyson finally arrived with four laps left and I inhaled the Gatorade and it gave me just enough of a sugar rush to finish the race! It was glorious crossing the finish line, still standing and feeling good. Less than a minute behind me came the guy running the fifty mile race and he broke the Kansas record. That was super exciting!

Before I ditched the bib
Start of race
Finishing!

I received the belt buckle and they gave me two extra for my crew. Allyson was really excited because she wanted mine to start with. I did make those two run and get me different head phones and bring me Gatorade before I died so they earned their medals. I did learn a few things for the fifty mile. I need to carry a bottle with water to fill up at the water stops, especially since that race is 25 out and back. I need someone with me that can bring me stuff I may need while I am running. So I am going to have to recruit the family as my crew. I am also going to have to find other things to eat besides GU. By mile 30, I was ready to puke from the sugar rush and if I never see that stuff again, it won’t be too soon. I also received a trophy for second place!

We went for ice-cream after the race. They have Brahms which is Emily’s favorite from Oklahoma. I had peppermint and it was really good. We then drove back home and I finally got to shower. I have never felt so gross in my entire life. Emily and I went out to eat but Allyson stayed in because she is a home body and said we had been out too much. Allyson and I drove home on Sunday which about killed me. My legs would tighten up to the point i had a really hard time walking. But we made it back in time for teenage church so it was all good. I have about an eight week “break” before training starts for the fifty mile. I’ve looked at it and it is super intense and will keep me busy.

Everyone finished their races except for the guy doing the 100 mile. It was his first attempt and he dropped out after 63 miles. The girl who finished her 100 mile, it was her fourth in less than a year so she qualified for the gram slam from Kansas I think. She told me she would crawl to the finish if she had too. She finished in 27 hours which is completely crazy if one thinks about it logically. But I was so happy to see she finished. The race was awesome, the runners were awesome, and the course support people were phenomenal. This was one of the best experiences of my life!

 

Mole Moral~Brian finally has a trophy wife!

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The Journey Home

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Yesterday was an extremely long day. I woke up at 5:30 am Denmark time which was 9:30 pm Missouri time. For the last time i had bacon and fresh-cut pineapples for breakfast. The pineapple was the best. Mom and I were off the boat by 7:45. We were herded onto busses to take us back to the airport. There were four buses total to take us to a tent where our luggage was located. Of course we ended up being the very last people in line to go in the tent. This made it easy to find our suitcases and the fact that they are orange helped a lot too. We then walked twenty miles into the airport. During the time we were waiting to get our luggage people were sneaking into the tent through a different entrance. We were scheduled to fly home Air Canada and guess what their desk did not even open until 9:15 to check luggage. So all those jerks that were in such a hurry had to wait anyway. We could not check in via the little machines because US passports do not have a bar code. So we stood in line forever to check our bags. I had done online check in but couldn’t print boarding passes because no telling what the cruise would charge to print. (haha) We then came across 7-11 and stopped for drinks and snacks. I found it so funny there is a 7-11 in Copenhagen airport. We then walked forever to our terminal. The flight was seven hours long. We left at 12:15 and arrived in Toronto at 7:15 (Copenhagen time) but it was now 2:15 in the afternoon. I watched three movies. My favorite all time cheerleading movie Bring it On, Despicable me 2, and Wild. Now I had read the book Wild, it’s about a girl who went hiking on the Pacific Trail Coast with zero experience and used it as therapy to get over her divorce and the death of her mother. The book was so much better but I enjoyed watching it. I didn’t sleep at all. After we landed in Toronto the adventure really began.

We got off the airplane and walked a really long way before we reached the area for going to the united states. We walked up to computers where you had to scan your passport and answer if you were bringing wildlife into the country. That took forever to get it to read our passports. We then entered the line for security which  was huge and the folks were crabby and made everyone take off their shoes. Of course I had to pull my computer out and everyone had to take off jackets. We finally managed to get through that to another line to go through customs. By this time it’s 3:30 and our flight was due out at 4:15. We got moved to an even longer line because we had an X on the paper that printed after the passport scanning. Finally mom went and complained we were going to miss our flight so we got moved to a priority line. I am not sure what was wrong with our passports but it was fixed within five minutes. So we go to find our gate and it now says our flight is cancelled. I’m thinking if I’m stuck in Canada until tomorrow I’m going to kill someone. I just wanted to get home and see Brian and Allyson. So we go to the desk and find we’ve been put on another flight that will be a half an hour later and had new boarding passes printed.

The flight to St. Louis was uneventful. I think I may have slept 45 minutes but it was that time where I was dreaming I was awake. Mom was convinced our suitcases would be lost but they showed right up on the carousal. Brian waited until right before we landed to leave so we only had to wait about five minutes till he picked us up. This worked out nicely since mom hadn’t smoked a cigarette since the suitcase line in Denmark. He forgets he is taking her home and takes 55 instead of 270 so we had the scenic tour. We dropped her off and headed home. I was so glad to be home and fell asleep around 8:30 after being up for about 22 hours. I haven’t done that in at least 16 years when I use to do an occasional overnight shift in the burn unit.

 

Mole Moral~ It’s always an adventure to go on vacation with me. Any crazy thing that can happen probably will. This trip was no exception and left us with many fun memories.

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Deck Chair Guy

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I arrived on the ship on a Wednesday and the very next day was a sea day. Since I am still training for the 50k, I decided to waste no time and do my ten-mile run. I was happy to discover the ship track was a quarter-mile so four laps was a mile. That was the day I used GPS and the crazy thing said I did 38 miles with a 3:45 pace. No worries as I adjusted that. It was that first run that I noticed a guy stacking up the deck chairs for the night. He was easy on the eyes as well so it made the time pass nicely.
I didn’t do all the runs I was supposed to because there were days when it was so windy the track was closed. But every time I ran I would see deck chair guy. The day I did the marathon after the second mile it was raining and so windy the deck was closed so I ran on deck twelve under cover around the tables. I actually walked because the deck was wet and I wasn’t falling. Deck chair guy did not disappoint as he was in the towel exchange booth for an hour or so. Every time I rounded the corner there he was. I swear every time I looked over he was looking at me. He was probably thinking what is wrong with this woman running around in circles and in all orange.
So today I decided to be brave and go up and talk to him. His English wasn’t the best and I don’t think many crazy ladies talk to him. I asked if his only job was the chairs and he said no he can serve drinks, and he was a deck server. This cruise was not warm at all so there was not a lot of people out by the pool. So I am sure he didn’t have a lot to do. Plus I swear I’m one of the youngest people on the cruise. I asked to take his picture and I got his name tag because I want to mention him in the email survey about the cruise. His job is one that is not front and center but important and he probably never gets recognition. (It’s kind of like being the nurse that takes care of patients right after surgery, they are too drugged up to remember that nurse.) I did thank him for helping me pass the time while running and told him I was training for a 50k.
I will post his picture but keep in mind two things. One he had a hat on which hid his awesome hair and two he is probably 6/6 and weighed 150 pounds. His pants were always high waters.

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And those of you that know me, know how I like tall and super thin. Hee hee.

Mole moral ~ Take the time to recognize and appreciate the people behind the scenes who are often overlooked.

 

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Mercy House Dublin Ireland

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Today was the day I have been looking forward to for months. When I was talking about taking a cruise and visiting Dublin, the best pharmacist ever (Kathy M.) told me she had seen Mercy Dublin in passing when she was in Ireland. She told me that they did tours during the week. When I checked the cruise schedule we would be there on a Sunday. I then contacted the guy in charge of missions (not sure of his title). He was spending a month volunteering there and would see if he could arrange a tour. Sadly, he couldn’t but I had plan B in my pocket. My mom and I would take a taxi over (it was about four miles from the peir) and take photos. I have been really nervous about the taxi because I had only been in one once and it was this past leap day. However, if I wanted to see where Catherine McCauley lived I would have to shove the nervousness to the side.

So we got in a taxi with a really nice guy. It wasn’t too long before he dropped the F bomb, so I knew God sent him and we were safe. I gave him the address and when I said the statue of the nun, he said “oh the Catherine McCauley house.”
They drive on the opposite side of the road here so I had to remind myself that we weren’t going to have a head on collision.
The taxi guy waited while we took some pictures. It was totally cool to stand on Baggot Street. That is the name of the cafeteria in the doctors building at Mercy St. Louis. Baggot Street is also the name of Mercy’s intranet. This is me walking on Baggot street. I’m not the best with selfies.

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Here are some pictures of the house and me of course. I kind of got the chills thinking about Catherine building the house and helping people. It was founded September 24, 1827 and we were there on September 25, 2016.

After this little adventure the taxi guy drove us to a souvenir shop and waited for us because we both knew what we wanted.

After this we returned to the ship and of course what happened next only happens to CR. Everyone told us all the taxis take credit cards. Well this guy didn’t and all he took was Euros which we had none. So I left my mom in the backseat while I ran into the ship to get some cash exchanged to pay the guy. When I came out I told him I thought about leaving my mom with him for payment and he cracked up. He was telling us he took his wife and two kids out for pizza. The kids had a soda and his wife had a glass of wine and he a beer and his total was 140 euros. (157 bucks). Surely it’s much cheaper to cook at home.
Mole moral ~ Always ask the taxi guy if he takes credit so you don’t have to make a mad dash on and off the ship to pay him.

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Scandinavian Cruise Chapter One

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Once upon a time in a land far far away a girl named Shleprock found a cruise for her and her mother to take. The mother did not realize that when Shleprock
goes on vacation disaster is sure to follow. So they flew half way across the world. Before they even landed in Denmark the mother accidentally knocked Shleprock’s glasses out of the holder and her glasses broke. Luckily Shleprock isn’t too blind without them but no more sunglasses feature. So it will be a squinty sort of vacation.
The flight was nine hours from Washington DC to Copenhagen Denmark. Although Shleprock was worried about the flight, the eight years she has rode a bus to church camp made the flight seem short. Since the flight came in so early the cruise line gave them a complimentary two hour cruise around Copenhagen where they saw the queens house. Of course those pictures were on the camera and the cord to transfer pictures is back at home.
They finally arrived at the ship and got directions confused and attempted to board the ship before anyone was allowed. It was close to noon when they finally found their room. It would be one of the few times they would find their room without the help of the room attendant.
They went to bed early and slept in the next morning which was a sea day.

Mole moral ~ The flight might have seemed short but still no desire to fly to Australia.

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Saying good-bye to My Favorite Doctor

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A couple of weeks ago one of the residents told me that Dr. Chobanian had about five weeks left at Mercy. It was if God was standing behind me and said straight in my ear “It’s time to say good-bye.” I really just wanted to punch him but I am not sure exactly what would happen if someone actually attempted to punch God. I waited until the last possible minute to listen and actually say good-bye and took his gift and card up to his office today. He wasn’t in which is just as well because I could barely hold it together as it was.

One of the things I learned in counseling all those years ago was to figure out what the real issue is. Yes I will miss him but the real issue, he was my back up plan in case that crazy cancer I had returned. He assured me almost five years ago (hard to believe its been that long already since the Veronikis surgery) that the odds were less than 5% that it would ever turn into anything but with my nurse curse nothing would surprise me. So if it were to come back, I am totally screwed unless I go stalk him in Michigan. My husband might think I have totally lost my mind.

I am also sad for all of his patients he is leaving behind as well as the residents who will never train under him. I am not sure if his new job is at a teaching hospital or not but all of the residents loved him and operating with him.

I will also miss him as friend. I talked with him a lot when he was dating and if anything I learned no matter how annoying my husband might seem in the moment it is nothing like trying to date at our age. His birthday is the same day as my sisters as well. I just have a lot of great memories and will miss him terribly.

 

Mole Moral~ Making close friends is wonderful until they move away and then it sucks a big fat one. Best wishes to my favorite doctor on his next adventure in his career!