Author Archives: rachrn34

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A Hunkins’ Wedding

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Brian has been part of a golf league on Monday nights for at least fifteen or so years. He can’t remember when he started and I sure can’t remember but it seems like forever. The guy that is in charge of the league is Tom Hunkins and I have liked him since the day I met him. He is super funny and always loves to aggravate me. Somehow I manage to fall for the same stupid joke. He will ask me if I have any boyfriends and well you know me I have a whole list of boyfriends so when I say yes, he puts his arm around me and tells me I need a man friend. Yesterday we attended our second Hunkins’ wedding. The first I had remembered was his daughter Emily and I told him wasn’t it in February and on a bad luck day but I can’t remember the date. As soon as he said Friday the thirteenth then I remembered. I think he was kind of impressed I remembered the month. I seem to have gift for remembering crazy things like that but can’t keep day-to-day life straight. Anyway we received the invitation months ago and his son was marrying another dude. At first this presented a bit of a dilemma for me because I’m old as dirt and was raised in different times.

When I was a kid my aunt was gay (that’s what we called it back then so please do not political correct me). We had to keep this a secret because my mom was worried if other people knew, they would not allow their kids to associate with me. I remember my aunt at one time did marry another woman (however that worked back in the day) but I don’t think my mother attended. I cannot remember even though I still remember the gals name. They eventually divorced as well. My aunt was also an alcoholic so probably twenty-five years ago, she found Jesus, quit drinking and basically turned celibate. The guy I dated my senior year in high school came out in college. He was not careful and ended up with HIV and passed from AIDS. Actually quite a few of the guys I dated, ended up coming out so I have always told Brian he wouldn’t leave me for another woman, but a man. He has never found this as funny as I do.

With the introduction of the internet and social media things have really come to the forefront on this. Marriage between same-sex has been legalized. Honestly, I have never had an issue with that but I am old school in the fact I don’t think a church should be forced to married same sex just because it’s legal. These two were going to get married at River City Casino so that solved that issue for me. (As we know, it’s all about me.) Then came the struggle do we go to the ceremony or just the reception. It came down to the day before when I finally decided we would go to the ceremony as well. I had no clue what to expect or how things would be done. I was pleasantly blown away.

For starters, they had twenty people in their wedding party. I can honestly say back when Brian and I married I don’t think we had twenty people that we were close enough to have stand up with us. And each of them chose both girls and boys to represent them. So when it came time for the procession or whatever it’s called, the music started and I knew I made the right decision. Tommy (Tom’s son) has three sisters and they all walked down together arm in arm. They had cute little cocktail dresses and looked fabulous. The rest of the party was spiffy too. One guy had on like dark blue jeans and suit coat and I immediately thought of Howard from The Big BangTheory. And then the grooms walked into together and my first thought “Holy smokes, they are both hot as hell” and then “go figure”. That’s my old school, stereotypical, judgmental, racist, old lady self coming out. I’m trying to work on this.

I expected the ceremony to be short and simple but instead we got a bit of a non church sermon. The guy that married them was interesting but at one point i was thinking please just shut up so we can get on to the good part, the vows. They wrote their own and Tommy’s was mind-blowing. He actually said he thought he would marry a trophy wife and live out his life that way. What’s really sad about that is, people did this all the time. It would be difficult enough knowing you are “not normal” (although normal is just a setting on a washing machine) but then to live a lie has to be awful. So I am glad that he doesn’t have to live like that and can be who I know God created him to be. And this leads to the reception and how my intense like for Tom Hunkins turned to pure love.

Tom’s family is very strong catholics. Brian told me quite a few refused to attend. I find this sad because refusing to come isn’t going to change Tommy’s sexual orientation. However I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for a heterosexual man to come to grips that his son is not. I don’t know how long it to Tom to process this but he has embraced it in a way that makes Jesus proud. I mean if Jesus (God) feels such emotion. His speech was fabulous and he talked about how after he married his three daughters off he thought he was out of the woods for covering weddings. Then Tommy came along and changed that mindset. He wrote a song to My Boyfriends Back and changed it to My Boyfriend Zach. His sister’s were the back up singers and although none of them would ever make it on American Idol, it was one of  the sweetest most thoughtful things I have every witnessed. It made me wish I was part of the Hunkins’ family.

Brian and I had a very good time and didn’t get home until 3:00 in the morning. We took our first Uber ride and in true Shleprock fashion the first driver could not locate us and cancelled. So we had to order a second one. Well Marvin had his act together and knew exactly where we were. We made it safely home and a twenty-seven dollar fare was way cheaper than a DUI and all the aggravation that entails. The hotel wanted 189 before tax for a room. Now that is outrageous for a hotel in Lemay when you are as tight with money as Brian and I are. I came up with the Uber idea at the same time I decided we should go to the ceremony. Most of the time I am smarter than I look.

I am really glad we went. It changed a lot of my mindset and made me realize and think about things that had never occurred to me. I also had a nice conversations with Tom and actually got to tell him he needs a Woman friend. It was perfect and beautiful.

 

Mole Moral ~ If we could only love others the way Jesus did instead of being judgmental holier than thou assholes, the world would be a much better place. Heck it would represent Heaven.

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If you are going to do something, do it right.

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Most of my Facebook friends saw my post today but that turned out to be only half of the story. And because I always have a story, I decided this one is blog worthy.

This morning work called me in early. I was driving down 270, minding my own business, singing Big Stuf camp songs when it sounded like I blew a tire or something on the passenger side. I immediately pull off, crawl over to the other side and get out to look at my tire. I discovered this

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I then took a picture and sent it to Brian. I then called to ask if I should drive to work (I was about three miles away). He suggests I call triple a and have them put on the spare. So I call work and then call triple A. I decided to use the free time to friend request people on Pokémon Go to complete the latest task. The guy shows up and I get out of my car to look at tire with him. It’s at this time I notice the side of my car

I do believe the first words out of my mouth were Holy F bomb. First of all,who manages to run over a bungee cord and then have it wedge itself into a tire? The same person who then has the tar beat out of her car by said bungee cord. Luckily the other hook end broke off before it did even more damage. The guy changed my tire like a NASCAR professional and was super nice and I could tell truly enjoyed his job. So off to work I went remembering the last time I had a flat.

It was maybe January of 2001 and again I was on my way into work. Brian had taught me how to change a tire by jumping on the tire iron to loosen the lug nuts. So I first called work who told me I had to come in after I got tire changed and then I called Brian. His response was can’t you change it. I said sure if I wasn’t five months pregnant and it wasn’t snowing. So he reluctantly agreed to leave work an hour early to change it. Of course it was on the driver’s side which was also 270 traffic side right before Manchester. While I am waiting for him a cop shows up and I tell him my husband is on his way. He says oh good I just came on duty and I don’t want to crawl on the ground. Next the roadside assist guy shows up, I tell him my husband is coming and he also leaves. I probably shouldn’t have told Brian this because he was beyond annoyed. But he changed it and on to work I went.

 

Mole Moral ~ If you are going to have tire trouble make sure you do it on the busiest most annoying highway and destroy your car for good measure. Bahahaha

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The Bleeing Edge

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This Netflix documentary was released the week I was at Big Stuf camp. I had quite a few people ask me if I had watched it yet. I finally sat down and watched it two days ago. I wish I could say I was shocked but I wasn’t, as most of it I already knew.

It’s been almost four years since I was a work and someone said Rachel Dr. Veronikis is calling from the OR and wants to talk to you. First of all Dr. V rarely calls anyone, much less from the OR so I went totally paranoid and figured he was going to yell at me. Instead he said I want you to go in and talk to my patient in 16. We had just moved to our new unit and I had to figure out where that room was. So I walked into Melynda’s room and said something like hi I’m Rachel and Dr. V told me to come talk to you. She had mesh removed by a doctor in California and was here for reconstruction with Dr. V. She shared her story with me.

I must say not only was she super nice but she was super smart. She had one of the Johnson and Johnson mesh put in. It wasn’t the small piece that supports the urethra but an entire thing that lifted the bladder up and had arms. She told me they knew when it was brought on the market their would be some lawsuits so they set aside a slush fund to cover them. There were no trials or studies on living women. The mesh had gotten approval through the 510k process. If a new product is similar to one currently on the market it is approved without trials or research. Physicians were trained over a weekend using cadavers. That’s dead women. Some physicians were also given kickbacks for every sling they placed. I have seen enough of Dr. V patients that had mesh placed that never needed it, to know this is truth. I am sure everyone involved would deny it but actions speak louder than words. Melynda added me to a Facebook group with all kinds of links to mesh articles. I read as much as I could and joined a few of the public groups to stay informed and keep up with what is going on.

So I started the show knowing full well I would be furious, but it was way worse than I imagined. It started with essure, the coils placed in tubes to prevent pregnancy   Again very little training and doctors were told if you missed the tube just put in another one. One lady had five of them floating in her uterus. These are made of metal so it only seems logical people would react to these. The trials they did were rigged. Some of the gals responses were changed right in front of them to make it say they had zero complications and one hundred percent satisfied only because they weren’t pregnant. It was taken off the market in every country except for the United States. However, right before the documentary aired it was announced it would be pulled from the market at the end of this year. I guess the greedy company wants to get a little more money while turning a blind eye to all the people they have harmed.

I have never been a fan of the daVinci (robot) machine. After watching this I would not ever encourage anyone to use it. They state it’s less invasive for hysterectomy. However the least invasive is the vaginal approach. The robot makes a blind stab for the first incision and most of the time that works out fine. However when it was developed an eight month training period was recommended. However again greed knew no one would buy it or invest so it was cut to a much shorter time period. And the show says a doctor practices and then had another physician watch him for two or three times and then he can perform on his own. This is accurate in my world. They had four different women end up with their intestines falling out of their vagina. I say no thanks.

So many people have been injured, maimed and have had their life ruined and yet the greed continues. Profit before people seems to be the motto these days. The FDA 501k process is broken and the loophole needs to be closed. When some of the FDA scientist attempted to be whistleblowers they were either terminated or had their job eliminated.

I don’t have the answers except to do your homework and don’t let anyone implant anything in you without extensive research on your part. The latest greatest doesn’t always mean safest or best.

 

Mole Moral ~ Melynda found her mesh on eBay, purchased it and gave it to Dr. V at her six-week check up. It makes you wonder just how easily any untrained physician can get their hands on it and implant it into unsuspecting people.

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Not everyone knows my name

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Sometime within the last month the girls at work were giving me the business about my obsession with Pokémon Go. I was talking about the raid bus and one of the second year Ob/Gyn residents joined in the conversation. Let’s flash forward to yesterday my first day back from camp.

The same resident is at the desk and he was talking about how he was at Queeny Park on Saturday with his kids when a bus pulled up into the parking lot. He thought that was really random given the time of the day until he saw me get off the bus. Then he knew it was the Pokémon bus I was talking about. I was cracking up. He left and I went on to give out some pain medicine.

A few minutes later I hear Amy answer the phone and she says just call her Pokémon girl, everyone will know who you mean. Apparently he didn’t know my name. I was cracking up and this made a great day even better!!

 

Mole moral ~ It’s reassuring to know that I’m not the only one terrible with names and I always enjoy a good nickname.

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Big Stuf and Firefighter Dave

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If you know me well, you know I do not handle last minute changes or surprises. I have always been a I must know the rules and the schedule kind of gal. So if it gets changed up, it makes me crazy. So I was at Big Stuf Olympics and someone told me an EMT was coming down as well. A little later he introduced himself. He was super nice and I liked him instantly. Due to a scheduling conflict I had to leave Olympics early and didn’t talk to him for very long. By the time I arrived to my car I had forgotten his name. In my defense, I try not to remember anyones name to prevent HIPPA violations. That way I can’t talk about them if I don’t their name. Luckily a couple days later he sent me a facebook message so I confessed I had forgotten his name and why. He was cool with it.

If my family likes you, you end up with a nickname. Some of our kids friends nicknames are Toenail, McWeinee, Trollinator, Meecham Ritchelle, Amber Bamber, and a few others I cannot think of at the moment. My nickname is Big Red and we use to call Brian dad fag but that is no longer socially acceptable so most days I just call him Mole. One of my first interactions with Dave was he told me he brought down an AED (you know the shock machine for CPR) just in case. I was like finally someone more paranoid than I am. I knew I was normal. Hahaha. I had his number in my phone but hadn’t put his name with it. So when he texted me the next day I was like who is this. And since he is a firefighter the nickname Firefighter Dave was born.

It has been awesome having him around considering this years camp stuff hasn’t been the usual jellyfish stings, Band-Aid’s, or sore throats. It’s been stuff like feet rashes, bite from an unknown bug, fire ant sting. So I call him for a consult quite frequently. I have already informed him that I decided he is coming next year as well. His assessments are very hands on whereas I am more of a doorway assessment type person. I can pretty much look at a kid, diagnose them and come up with treatment with barely touching them. He comes along and he does a true assessment and draws the same conclusion. This only hammers home that I really am the queen of “doorway assessments”. This nickname comes from work where everyone swears I stand in the patients doorway yell to ask them how they are doing and come out with them fully assessed. This is a bit of an exaggeration of course but life is fun with Big Red around! Bahahahaha.

 

Mole Moral ~ My dog has at least eight nicknames which tells you who I really love the best!

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Happy Thirtieth Birthday Big Stuf!

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This years theme is Original which doesn’t mean being the first of something. It means being different and better. This describes this camp perfectly. And for those interested in the history I found these gems out in the main hallway.

 

Mole Moral ~ Lanny Donoho was the founder of this camp which makes him a huge original! I am so glad he followed his heart and has touched so many people with his originality.

 

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Own it, don’t dismiss it.

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A few weeks back my music switched to cycling through everything on iTunes, instead of just my play list. I usually tolerate this until one of the kids nasty worded rap songs comes on and I switch it back to my Christian music. After I saw Rob Bell two years ago I downloaded some of his first pod casts and it so happened number seven popped on. I had heard it before but I had a feeling I should listen again. I believe he called it the tapes in your head. The word tape kind of shows our age since I’m pretty sure they no longer exist.

He was talking about the way you talk about yourself in your head. So he launches into a scenario where he is playing kickball with you and you catch his ball but you trip and fall and run a spike through your chest. So he cuts the spike loose and halls you to ER. I had a hard time getting past playing kickball with Rob and not calling 911. Anyway you arrive to ER and they stat page a doctor to your room. Do you want your doctor to play this in her head? I’m not really sure about this. I graduated last in my class. There are so many doctors that are better than me. Or would you want her tape to say I’ve got this. I know exactly what needs to be done. I have the skills and the team to accomplish this. Another thing he spoke about is not owning compliments but rather dismissing them or downplaying them.
Three hours after I listened to this I walked into work and my boss was talking with another gal I had never met. The unknown called me high energy and my first thought was no I’m not. And then it was if my head shook and cleared my brain and I was like I think she’s right. So I’ve been thinking about how my life does indeed reflect high energy.
For starters my job reflects this. I am scheduled eleven am until seven-thirty pm to come in and take all the new admits. They include surgeries, direct admits (straight from home or doctors office) ER patients and moms who just had a baby that ends up in NICU. This shift originally started because for a few years the hospital did away with having people on call and we were not allowed to staff for patients who weren’t there at the start of the day. On big surgery days (10 or more) this could be a nightmare with every nurse being at max capacity and yet more surgeries needing to come. I worked three to eleven back then so a lot of times they would call me to work early. So anyway I now come in at whatever time they need me. This may be as early as eight thirty or as late as three. I sometimes have all five patients within three hours. The recovery room loves me because I almost always take report when they call and have taken back to back and say send at same time I’ll make it work. The only time this is a nightmare for me is when the patients were not given adequate pain medicine during surgery and are out of control upon arrival. This keeps me running for the first few hours. Our unit is huge and really spread out so on a crazy day I can easily hit ten thousand steps in eight hours. And to think my husband likes to harass me and say all nurses do is sit around and eat chips and dip.
My activity level screams high energy too. I walk almost three miles every day for my coffee and then around the back neighborhood. It’s also my time to play Pokémon. I’m still running and always training for something. Last years fifty mile runalone says either high energy or belongs in an insane asylum.
At the end of the same day I had a patient and her husband thank me for being the kindest nurse and person they ever met. My first reaction was to dismiss the entire compliment and then Rob popped into my head and the love dare. I remembered one of the three things Brian said he admired about me was my willingness to do whatever I could to help others. And I must admit they were right. They were of a different culture and I respected that and incorporated it into my plan of care. Plus they were Heartprint patients which will always have a special place in my heart.
So over the past three weeks I’ve been trying to own it, instead of dismissing it. I must say this is a lot harder than I thought it would be. My head tape likes to go immediately to the negative and the worst case scenario. I guess I have something to work on.
Mole Moral ~ If the tape is negative, eject it, and replace with a positive one, you deserve it!
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Matthew 25:40

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I pretty much either run or walk for coffee every day of the week unless its raining or snowing. At least a couple of times a week I would pass this homeless guy who could pass for my neighbors Doppelganger. Anyway I would say hi and he would say the most crazy stuff that made zero sense to me. My doorway assessment skills diagnosed him with schizophrenia and not on medication. He seemed stuck in his own mind or maybe we are stuck in our minds and he is  the one who is free. Anyway, the last couple of weeks it had dawned on me I hadn’t seen him in quite a while.

Yesterday while getting coffee I asked the gas station girls about him. They said “Oh you mean homeless Jeff,” he has been banned from most of Arnold. However, a former gas station employee has set him up in a trailer in an undisclosed location and he is doing work such as cutting trees. He is in air conditioning and safe. They said he is doing well but still not on medication. I am not going to lie, I was blown away which made me think of the title of this blog.

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Whoever this person may be, they are truly living a life of Jesus. How much easier is it just to say hi and smile and continue on your way than to actually invite someone into your home and care for them. I have a friend who would do something like this but I can sadly say I don’t think I would. One day I will have to answer to my selfish behavior while I try to justify it by all the other things I have done for people. For example the Heartprint blankets. Luckily it’s not a contest or there would be no winners.

 

Mole Moral ~ Never be afraid to admit you use biblegateway.com to find the verse you are looking for when you know what they say, just not where they are located!

 

One of my favorite prayers!

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On Monday one of my favorite bloggers posted her blog which just happened to be called A Tale of Two Churches  which you can read about it if you would like. She was out in Denver and decided to go to Saturday evening Mass (she’s a devout Catholic) and then try out Red Rocks Church. It is one of those hipster, big box, non-demonational church. Very much like my church. After all we are in the process of opening a second campus up near Ted Drews. She ended up really enjoying the service and since she’s single, she saw a lot more people there her age. It made me start thinking a lot about Abiding Savior since I had just written the Pastor Kevin blog.

Often Pastor Tom starts the announcements out with, we are not a traditional church by design. He has explained in the past that there are many many good traditional churches and if that is how you connect with God, that is where you need to be. My church just offers something different. So I was thinking about Catholic traditions and then I remembered there was a prayer PK said at the end of almost every service and for the life of me I could not remember it. However, after he left I asked him to email it to me and since I am a stalker and scrapbook like an OCD freak of nature I hunted down the scrapbook it was in (would you be shocked if I mentioned I have the month and years that each book represents? This makes it much easier to find what I am looking for) Anyway, I was putting away video games in the basement and brought the book upstairs. I read the prayer out loud to Brian and then almost burst into tears. I am telling you, getting old really messes with your head.

Go with God because God goes with you…

He goes before you to show you the way,

behind you to encourage you,

beside you to befriend you,

above you to watch over you,

under you to uplift you,

and within you to grant you His peace…

in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, AMEN!

 

I guess I didn’t realize how much I missed hearing that until I read it again. Sometimes traditions and rituals are good for the soul. Maybe one of these years I will show up at his church and see if he still says it. The last week of memories surrounding my school nurse job, church, Brian, and baptism have been wonderful. And it just seals the deal that I’m not really twenty-five like I think I am.

 

Mole Moral ~ Memories are fun and bring back both good times and bad. These were most certainly great times!

 

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Happy Fathers Day and Baptism Day

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Seventeen years have passed since Brian and Allyson were baptized together on Fathers Day by Pastor Kevin. It was around 1997 when I took a job as a school nurse for Washington Lutheran School (it’s now called Abiding Savior Lutheran School). I worked there 12 hours a week and did 16 hours a week in the burn unit. After about a year or so the school secretary Iris invited me to church and I went. Pastor Kirk was a former psychiatric nurse and I loved him. He talked so fast and gave awesome messages. After some time a call was placed for a second pastor and Kevin Wendt answered the call. I was not happy about this as there was only one Pastor and that was Kirk. I had made up my mind that I wasn’t even going to like this Kevin guy, like ever. Then Pastor Kevin showed up and I’m pretty sure God was laughing his head off because it was love at first sight. First of all he was super easy on the eyes and secondly he spoke so well and totally kept me engaged. I talked about him all the time and I think Brian finally came to church to size up his competition.

Brian did not go to church as a family when he was growing up. He did go with his friend to Catholic mass either on Saturday nights or Sunday mornings. Both of Brian’s parents grew up in church but never really went after that well until Pastor Kevin. Anyway Brian soon learned that you could follow Jesus and still watch football, drink beer and cuss occasionally. Pastor Kevin is a cheese head and followed football, when not preaching he would be known to say a curse word and he drank beer occasionally. So before too long Brian started coming to church every week. His sister and her son Kyle were attending as well and then Brian’s parents started coming too. All of this from one invite from Iris.

After Allyson was born and it was time to have her baptized, Brian decided he wanted to be baptized as well. Neither he nor his brother or sister were baptized as infants so he felt the calling to do it as an adult and who better to do it than Pastor Kevin. And so seventeen years ago they were both baptized. Emily and Kayla were sick as dogs that morning so Beverly (the lady who watched the girls) skipped the baptism and watched them for us. Pastor Kevin even came by the house later that day for the party and risked catching their sickness.

Tire

I was wondering today how different my life would have been if Iris hadn’t invited me to church that day. Would I have ever had found a church home? Would Brian have ever realized you can follow Jesus and not be a jug head? You can be a cool, extremely good-looking Pastor, who loves football. Would I have ever found Oak Bridge or my love of teenagers?

 

Mole Moral ~ One invite really can make a difference. My family is living proof!