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Saying Goodbye

imageToday I said good-bye to a couple of really good co-workers but not before going out with them the night before after work! I will miss E. Hayes and Wankster Willy (aka Erin and Lindsay). Wankster is always so much fun to be around. Last night she had me in tears when she was pretending to be a patient and complaining about some of the crazy things people come up with. A couple of the residents joined us and they may think twice before they ever party with the women’s health crazies! Lindsay has graduated and is an athletic trainer and starts her new job on Monday. She plans to get her masters and then teach. Oh how lucky and blessed her students will be! Erin is going to work in Dr. Murray’s office. Dr. Murray is one of our gyn/oncologists and she made Erin promise not to tell us she was leaving until Dr. Murray was out-of-town so we didn’t kill Dr. Murray. Well guess what, I plan to slap Dr. Murray when I see her next. Erin joined WH when she was 19 as a tech and she was in nursing school. It has been a pleasure to watch her grow into a wonderful nurse. She has also gotten married and had two children in this time. I feel like my own children are leaving the nest. They will both do well and bless those they come in contact with. I will be interested to see who God replaces them with. Things always change even when we don’t want them to!

 

Mole Moral~ I am way too old to party like I’m 25. It’s been a rough day for mama mole! However, it was worth if for all of the fun I had last night!

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Magical Thinking

For the longest time I have always come up with the worst case scenario so it wouldn’t happen. For example, a co-worker has a headache so I say they have meningitis and are going to die. Also, if a patient has a symptom I get the situation diagnosed to almost coding and in ICU. Since this rarely, if ever happens, I am convinced thinking the worst makes it not happen. Back when I saw my counselor she asked me if I really thought i had magical thinking. Although I told her no, I sometimes still believe I do. This week I had a couple of patient situations come up in which I did indeed predict the worst case and nothing happened. Everything was fine. So this just furthers my delusion! And Meg said to me “so you are a rainbow unicorn” last night and then sent me this meme today! I loved it.

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Mole moral~ I am a badass unicorn! I will keep the worst case to myself so I don’t freak out the patients. As for my family, friends and co-workers, they are all on their own.

 

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Another day, another cooking disaster

Today is Dominic’s (Kayla’s boyfriend) birthday. He said he would like New York Cheesecake so I’ve made cheesecake before (Jello no bake) so I say this will be easy. Ok why did I say that? It has been a freaking nightmare. I have to make some sort of sponge-cake bottom. It did not turn out like it should because 1)I beat the entire egg instead of the yolk and 2) when I poured the cheesecake layer into it bubbled up to the top. I thought at that time screw it the batter tasted fabulous and so did the spongy bottom so they should be great mixed together. I forget the pan is hot after the bottom baked and burned my fingers. It has to cook for 1:15 and then cool for 2 and then refrigerate for 6. So with 14 minutes left I go to check on it and somehow the oven has turned itself off! Like there is no heat so I turned it back on but have no clue how much longer it needs to cook. I am scheduled to work a seven am tomorrow so I do not have all night to be fighting with this. It should be really interesting to see how this turns out. The next time someone requests cheesecake I am going back to the Jello brand. The kids were shocked and thought all these years I made homemade cheesecake!

Mole moral-Stick to box food, it’s so much easier!

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The Christmas Spirit

IMG_6422Something crazy happened to me this year and I got the wild idea to put up Christmas stockings on all the patients rooms on WH. At first I was just going to cut them out and hang them up. However, one day at the rec center I came up with the great idea to put the Christmas Story in bible verses on all the stockings so that if you started at 2301 and walked around in room order you would read the entire thing. Now with the great invention of the internet and biblegateway.com this was rather easy.

 

IMG_6428Women’s health has 2319 as a room so of course that required a special monsters inc stocking.  It took a while for me to figure out how to upload the pictures and what size to make them so they would all fit. But I did it and it was my favorite stocking.

Over the past three weeks every Monday when I work 2 of the stockings have disappeared. 2301 went missing twice so when I made a third one, I taped it to the door hanger because I thought maybe it kept falling off. When I came in yesterday 2319 was missing. I did learn that it was taken as a reminder of the patients stay on WH. Now I really did not think anyone would want to have these because I give myself no credit for being creative. So today I spent an hour redoing 2319 because not only did I not save any of the pictures but I had a heck of a time remembering what size. But it’s finished and will return to the room door shortly.

Mole moral: Always save pictures and the size they were printed, one never knows when they might be needed again!

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A life changing event

232323232fp93232>ydnjthgqubwsnrcgu8243>nu=3235>844>978>WSNRCG=3-94445564324nu0mrjIt’s hard to believe that ten years ago today the RN strike started against St. Johns Mercy Medical Center. In some ways it seems like just yesterday, and others many lifetimes ago. It was certainly a life changing event for me. I was picket site #6 (why do I remember this stuff?) and met a lot of new people over the almost six weeks we were out in the freezing cold. I remember Christmas Day being extremely cold and since I would have worked 3-11, I did four hours on the picket line. Then on New Years Eve it was so warm we didn’t even have the fire barrels fired up. We certainly turned the medical center into shanty town. I remember that some people who lived there complaining about it. It really was monumental. I do believe we were the first nurses union in the state of Missouri and certainly the first to strike.

During this time, we created an email chain and would send out emails for support and to let each other know what was going on. Well since I love to write, you can see that I became heavily involved. It is how I became fairly well-known all over the hospital. Now this totally cracked me up because you see ever since I was a little kid, I would hide out in the corner hoping no one would notice me. I am still that way most of the time. My sister-in-law worked at Dierbergs and people would come through her line and say I know your sister-in-law Rachel. It was crazy.

The emails were turned over to management upon return to work. We eventually found out who did it and although it was infuriating at the time, as time as passed it really no longer matter. Everyone that was out on strike had to go to meetings before they could return to work. I am not sure if they thought all the people who stayed out the entire time were going to break the legs of people who worked during that time. I certainly had no intention of it. However, I was not allowed to attend one of those meetings but had a special one on one meeting with HR and my nurse manager. They had to access my level of anger to see if I was safe to return to work. I remember talking to my father after the meeting and he said he would have walked in there and told them to F off. I however played the game because I really just wanted to come back to work and resume taking care of the heart print patients. (moms who lost a baby). And so I promised to be good and stay out of trouble. And that lasted about two shifts at work. Management put a note on the dry erase board stating we could no longer chart at the main nurses station but had to chart at the pods. So what did I do? I wrote spare me next to it. The next shift I worked I got called into the office and talked to by HR like I had just sold heroin to kids on the school playground. I was informed I would be formally counseled for this to which my smart reply was great I will bring a union rep. Our secretary was a union person and she honored the picket line and never returned to work. So Holly was our new secretary. I walked up to her and said do you smoke and she said yes. I said I’m Rachel and we are going to go smoke a cigarette. So after not smoking for six weeks while out on strike I was back at it. I also made a great friend in Holly that day!

The nurses union would be voted out three years later and not return. I became involved with CNA (California Nurses Association) now called NNOC (national nurses organizing committee.) until the union was voted out. I was then finished with it and ready just to focus on nursing.  I became good friends with those representatives as well who also constantly told me I was a leader. I still don’t see myself as a leader but since everyone else seems to, I try to behave these days.

After the strike was over Laura talked me into signing up to do a 1/2 marathon with Team in Training. She ended up becoming pregnant and did not do the marathon but I did. I smoked all during the training and would actually smoke to and from the way to the track. It would be another 4 years before Erin would talk Jennifer and I into doing a 1/2 marathon. It was the Lewis and Clark half and my number was 2319. (Yep the monsters inc code which i was totally excited). Erin ended up not being able to do it because that is when our computer documentation started but it triggered my walking and then running obsession.

A lot of good things came out of the strike. I made some great friends especially Kathy, Jean, Carol, and Jane from the surgery center. I found out I am seen as a leader of sorts, no matter how scary that might be. I eventually started running and got into the best shape of my life. And I still work at Mercy despite my constant paranoia that I will be fired at anytime.

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A busy week for mom mole!

The past four days I was at Mercy for a total of 38 hours. Of those, 12 I did not get paid for. Why you ask because I am crazy and went and observed surgery on my day off. I have been wanting to see Dr. Veronikis surgery for a couple of years now and since my all time favorite resident is with him this month, I finally made my way down there. It was awesome. Ok that’s probably obvious or otherwise I would have never stayed the entire time. I saw a bunch of different surgical procedures. I saw a sling release (I had that done my second surgery when I had the hematoma drained), I saw the exact same surgery I had and I saw vaginal and abdominal mesh removal. The best part is when I read operative reports I will be able visualize exactly what is happening.

This transvaginal mesh and mesh for pelvic organ prolapse has been a big interest in mine for the past year or so. It has actually taken over my heart print (moms who have had a pregnancy loss) calling. My first thought is I agree with the resident, if you can put it in, you better be able to take it out. However there are very few uro/gyn’s in the country who can take it out and even less that can do full mesh removal. Heres my opinion and my opinion only after doing a lot of reading and talking to a lot of patients. Most doctors flat-out deny that any of a woman’s symptoms is related to mesh. They blame everything else under the sun and deny deny deny mesh is causing issues. The only training most doctors have received to put in mesh is a weekend crash course. When mesh first came out some doctors were compensated by the mesh companies for each mesh surgery they did. It seems like a lot of time the statutes of limitation has run out by the time the mesh victim has finally gotten someone to say yes this mesh is the cause of your issues. It’s sad because a lot of the women are in so much pain they cannot do much of anything except lay down. Even sitting causes severe pain. This leads to job loss, loss of friends and even spouses. Yet it continues to be put in everyday by doctors who cannot remove it if the patient has issues. Ok that’s my mesh rant for the day.

After surgery was over they all asked me if I wanted to come work down there. I said no, it is not my calling. Funny enough when I started nursing school I thought I wanted to be a surgical nurse. One day in clinical’s down in the OR and I knew that it was not for me. The patients are asleep so you can’t even talk to them. Plus standing for 10 hours is tough! I did see all kinds of cool things. I saw massive abdominal adhesions, the retroperitoneal  space and the peritoneal cavity. I saw a JP put in and when Dr. Veronikis was doing the vaginal packing I told him if he thought that was lightly packed, he was crazy. I got to see a cystoscopy after the patient was injected with blue dye (can’t spell the name) and watch urine come out of the ureters into the bladder. Now that alone was worth not getting paid. And I got to give Dr. V. crap for all the staples he uses, because the resident did them and then he added more!

Last week I became a high fall risk again. I hadn’t fallen since 1/1/13 when I was running in front of Ugas. However I went with Emily to Dr. Hottie (aka Dr. Larkin) to see if she had a stress fracture in her other leg. He came in and said your x-ray was clear so its just shin splints. However when he did the hands on physical exam he got really upset because they all screamed stress fracture. So he wanted to do an MRI to be sure which would have to be done in Kansas City. So I ran upstairs to use the bathroom and on the way down I fell down the steps. My foot didn’t hit the step right and backwards I went. Emily who couldn’t even see me started laughing. I wasn’t hurt but I was annoyed because I need a yellow bracelet again.

I hope I never have to work full time. I don’t know how people do it. My house is a mess and I have zero energy to do anything today. It does not help that it is raining. Maybe just maybe I will get the ornaments on the Christmas tree this weekend. Hey at least the lights are on!

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A crazy day

Well the first clue that the day would be crazy was the fact I was scheduled for a 12 hour day shift. I traded with someone that needed the day off. I had five patients and discharged all of them and got five new ones throughout the day. They all had me hopping and I even had to have some help because I coukdnt keep up. That doesn’t happen too often and then just as things are slowing down for a bit I get this text from Kayla.

Mom I think I killed the dog.

To which I responded

you better not have.

It seems my middle child let the dog out abd then left for school. The poor dog was outside for about three hours. So Kayla put a rag on her neck and she perked right up. And then work got crazy again and I forgot about the dog. She seems fine this evening. And we do have a pool that she could have jumped into but she hates water so I don’t think she would have. She’s a crazy mole dog!

 

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Doctor’s appointment

Monday was my six-week check up for my foot. Incision is totally healed and then he touched it and said is this still sensitive. Let’s just he’s really lucky I didn’t punch him like I did Dr. Larkin when he was messing with my knee. He said the nerve gets all mad because of cutting the fascia and likes to be inflamed for a while. He says you are pretty active what have you been doing. I said mostly going to work and I started Piyo. He then says in a couple of weeks I could probably start walking. I looked at him like he had three heads and said I’m thinking another 6 weeks before I attempt that. At this point it is enough to run around women’s health for eight hours three times a week. He agreed with me on that. So I go back again in another four weeks.

While I was there I said I think I have another planters wart on my left foot so he took a look at it. Flash back to last September when I went to see the other guy because I had five. I was supposed to have surgery but the planters fasciitis flared up and I started PT and I never had surgery. They all disappeared which I thought was odd. So Dr. Anderson looks at it and said it is a clogged duct from limping and making it mad. I’ll trim it down and shoot some acid in it and you will feel much better. So he whips out a #10 blade scalpel and starts scraping away on the wart. The whole time I’m thinking just one bad swipe and I’ll have another incision in the other foot. Of course that didn’t happen.

When I realized the only option I left surgery for my foot I did not return to the guy that removed my wart. A friend of mine researched  him on the internet and the patient reviews were not good. Then she had me get on case.net and he has also had a bunch of lawsuits. Plus I knew his treatment for my problem was barefoot shoes. That is what got my foot into the mess that it had become. Running in the feet shoes and wearing the no support shoes. Although my orange ones were so comfortable. I knew if I went back to him he would say keep wearing the shoes it will go away. And yet walking was becoming more and more difficult. I mean when you want to amputate your foot with a butter knife I don’t think the barefoot thing was working. I knew two people who had went to Dr. Anderson and just loved him.

And yes Kathy if you are reading this I confessed my noncompliance with the boot and told him I had not worn it since four weeks post op. He said that was fine, wouldn’t do any damage just painful. I mentioned your name because he first said to me I ran into a friend of yours but I can’t remember where. When I told him he started laughing.

I go back in four weeks for another visit and then hopefully I’m released. The cortisone shot should be totally worn off by then so I should have an idea if I am finished with him or if he is in for another surgery with the non-compliant nurse CR.

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Dear God, I Hate you!

How many times did you say that to your parents as a kid or as an adult your kids said it to you? Well that was my first thought today in church when a girl got up to talk about a medical mission trip to Haiti. I have said many times I would never go to Haiti. I think I just said this to Hollie last week when she was doing my hair. And I know I said it to one of the kids (Dan) who went to Haiti with the church a couple of weeks ago. First of all am I ever gong to learn not to use the word NEVER? It like screws me every time. As the girl was talking I could feel that presence saying CR you really need to do this. It has to be God because this is so far out of my comfort zone that I can’t even really think about it too much or I get freaked out. There is an informational meeting on the 27th and I am marking it on my calendar. I had also said to Hollie this past week that I feel so disconnected at church that I was going to sign up for a small group next fall. I pretty much have every Monday off from work so I could go to Monday small group. So that same presence said you know this Haiti thing will have you connected with like people in the medical field. Although you do not have to be a medical person to go. So I checked my passport when I got home and it does not expire to 2017. Again God I hate you because I can’t use that as an excuse! So we shall see how this all plays out. If any of my nurse buddies has an interest just let me know! As for now Big Stuf Olympics is in about two hours and I can’t wait. It may be a double blog day depending on what happens there.

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CPR

27911114It has only taken me 26 years to figure out why I hate CPR re-certification. It’s so simple and yet I just put two and two together. It’s the skills check out. I know it’s because of skills check-out in nursing school. They were always anxiety ridden nightmares for me. We had to do things in the right order, mess one thing up and you flunk. Flunk the same checkout twice and you were out of the program. No pressure or anything. I have shared my first clinical check out with a lot of people so feel free to skip if you heard it. My first check outs were temperature, blood pressure and pulse. I had never read a glass thermometer. (I am sure you youngsters are thinking whats a glass thermometer. Do they even make those anymore? Considering they had mercury in them and if you broke it the little mercury balls would roll all over the floor. Not that I ever did that! We use to use glass in isolation rooms, we use throw away digitals now.) I was a nervous wreck. Just knew I was going to do something wrong and be kicked out forever. It didn’t help my instructor was the toughest one which just made it even worse. Well I couldn’t find the pulse and I couldn’t hear the B/P (oh the instructor and a two earphone so she could hear too. If we were off by more than 2 we failed) and I was just a mess. Well Gena (my best friend that I visit in Edwardsville) started cracking up and I was crying. We ended up getting sent out of the room until we could control ourselves. So we went to the bathroom and she gave me a pep talk. I did pass the clincials but I was given a thermometer to put into different water temps to practice reading.

So flash forward to CPR and today the girl says I’m going to time you during one of your cycles. My anxiety had to be off the chain because I was instructed to slow down because I was going way too fast. Imagine that with my anxiety off the chain. I’m not sure anyone has ever failed CPR re-certification but I would really hate to be the first. I use to also be ACLS certified so for about ten years I did CPR every year because it was included in ACLS. I am so glad to ditch that certification. Running a code is not in my DNA. I can record what is going on but I hope I’m never the one calling the shots.

I’m working day shift tomorrow. It should be fun. Hopefully I won’t have any need to put my new skills to use.